Parallel
by Creshto
Summary: Well...That hadn't turned out exactly as they planned. "But not to worry, Gaara-kun! Everything will work out for the best!" Gaara doubted that.
1. Prologue

_Prologue_

"Let me see the map."

"No-no! I have got it!"

"You don't even know the name of the town-"

"Of course I do! It is Ra-…something."

"Give. Me. The _map_."

"No! Look, there it is! Right there!"

Gaara lifted a hand to rub his forehead. He could just _feel_ the fight coming. "You're pointing at an island off the coast of Rice Country. We need to go in the _opposite_ direction. We're heading _south_."

"But I do not want to go south! I want to visit the Tea Country!"

"That's _south_." Gaara growled, pointing rather stiffly at the large island that was most definitely _south_ of their current position.

"Oh…" Lee said, laughing sheepishly. "I knew that."

"Hn." Gaara shook his head. He memorized their next exist before folding up the old map and shoving it back in his bag. They had to get going. The moon was already coming out, and he didn't want Lee driving on these dirt roads at night. Hell no, not again. They've gotten lost two times already, and twice is quite enough, thank you very much. "Go see if they're done with the car."

"Yes, Gaara-kun." Lee said, smiling tiredly and scratching at the Band-Aid over his right cheek. The smell of gasoline was wading through the air and making Gaara's head swim. He watched as Lee rounded the corner of the tiny convenience store/gas station in search of the garage. The entire structure was small and desolate. Really, they were lucky this place showed up, there in the middle of nowhere. At the exact moment they needed it.

Gaara sighed. He let his back hit the wall. Green eyes drifted up. The sky was bluer than blue, a void of empty space. Not even the tiniest of clouds flitted nearby. He looked down at a stack of newspapers. _'Devastating Earthquake rips through Iwa!', 'Financial Crisis?', 'Energy Sources dwindling', etc, etc. _

"They are finished, Gaara-kun! We can get going!" Lee shouted, waving wildly from around the corner. Gaara pushed off of the wall, his normal passive expression in place.

"Finally."

Lee smiled, heading back toward the car with his redheaded companion finally caught up. "Do you have everything?"

"Yes." Gaara climbed into the passenger seat, jimmying the door to click it shut. Lee, meanwhile, paid the man in the filthy jumpsuit. Gaara took his time rolling down the window. It was hot enough to cook an egg on the dashboard. Luckily, he was used to it.

"Thank you very much, sir!" Lee grinned and bowed low, ever the social enthusiast. The mechanic sniffed, and put his other hand on his hip.

"No problem, kid. Careful with this one. She's definitely getting on in years." He smacked the car's hood.

"I will." Lee nodded, patting the door fondly as he climbed in. His window was already open, and the man leaned over to look in.

"So where're two kids like you headed this fine summer?" He asked, pushing big round glasses up the bridge of his nose. His smile looked false. Gaara sneered, disgusted. He wasn't in the mood for small talk. They had to _get_ _going_. And this man was giving him an eerie feeling... But that wasn't saying much. Most people did.

"We are on a road trip! We plan to go hiking in the next town before we head out for Tea Country."

"That so? I hope you enjoy it." He hit the door pane twice and stood up. Gaara leaned back in his seat, recognizing it as a send-off, but to his displeasure the man went on talking. "That is…if you get there."

"Oh, I am sure we will. We have heard that these roads can be difficult to navigate, so I will be sure to drive very carefully."

"That's not what I meant, kid." The man leaned in again, his voice dropping to a whisper. "There've been stories…"

Gaara cursed his luck. Stupid talkative man.

"Stories?" He could see interest perk in Lee's round coal eyes.

"_Lee_." He growled.

"I'm just saying." The guy went on. "You should be careful. It's like these roads are haunted, or something. People…carpools of them have gone missing. Just poof! Gone…"

"Really? That is very strange. Perhaps they got lost."

Gaara started massaging his temples, clenching his teeth.

"No, no, see that's the weird part." The man continued. "Usually, if people are reported missing, search teams can track them down. It's not hard to spot broken-down cars out here 'cause it's so open. But sometimes, people are just never found. Like they vanished into thin air." He nodded, as though absolutely convinced. "And every time, I remember noticing a distinct lack of coverage in the news. I think the government is keeping it from the public for some reason. I'm thinking," He leaned in closer, eyes narrowed, "it's _supernatural_."

"Riveting." Gaara had had enough. "It's a shame we can't stick around to hear chapter two, but we have to go. Now."

"Ah, right, right. Sorry for keeping you then. And remember what I was telling you. Practice great caution."

"Of course! Thank you again, sir! And do not worry about us. We will be fine. Goodbye!" Lee waved. The mechanic gave a lazy, one-finger salute and turned to saunter back into the garage. Lee pulled out. A cloud of dirt followed the car bumper as they sputtered away.

"Well that was interesting." Lee mumbled, smiling. Gaara hummed, comforted by the rocking motion of the wheels.

"It was ridiculous." He said, putting his feet up on the dashboard. The wind was kicking up, blowing red hair out of his eyes.

Lee didn't once turn away from the road, but Gaara could see his eyebrows draw together in thought. "What makes you so certain it was untrue?"

"Lee." Gaara clicked on the radio, sifting through the channels, "Don't believe that crap. It's all fabricated nonsense. The guy was probably bored out of his mind."

"You do not know that for sure, Gaara-kun." Lee remained firm. His lips twitched upwards and he snatched Gaara's hand from the radio knob, pressing smooth fingers to his lips. "Sometimes it is fun to think that there might be more to life than just what we see."

"Hn." Gaara watched Lee kiss his palm. "Whatever…"

They drove on. Some sort of oldies song was crackling over the radio. The silence, otherwise, stuck. Gaara breathed in deep. The air was thick with static cling, forcing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end. Above them, the sky was still clear and florescent, but the horizon was quickly getting dark. It made his eyes hurt. He looked away, deciding to find something else to keep him occupied. Homework would do, no matter how uninteresting. "Where's my book?" He grumbled, checking the floor.

"It should be in my bag, in the back."

"The trunk?" Gaara raised a nonexistent eyebrow.

"No, the backseat. Why would I put it in the trunk?" Lee chuckled to himself.

"Well, it isn't _on_ the backseat." Gaara said, getting aggravated. He bit back a bundle of nerves. "There's _nothing_ on the backseat."

"Of course there is. I know I put it there..." Lee took his eyes off the road just long enough to take a cursory sweep of the back. Then the rest of the car. Finally, eyes wider than a pair of moons, he turned back to the front. "Uh oh."

Gaara's whole body went stiff, his fists clenched until his knuckles blanched. "'What do you mean _'uh oh'_?"

"Um." Lee bit his bottom lip and stopped the car. "It must be in the trunk!" He ran out, not bothering to shut the door. Gaara dug his fingers into the material of his khaki's. He didn't have much hope. Lee slammed the trunk shut and walked back into the car as though in a daze.

"Was it there?"

"No." He breathed. "And our spare tire is missing. The suitcase as well."

"_What?_"

"I think…I think we may have been robbed."

"You _think_?" Gaara spat. "We have to go back. That's everything we own."

"O-okay!" Lee put the car in drive and made a wide u-turn, kicking a huge cloud of dirt into the air behind them.

"What the hell were you thinking? Didn't you bother to check for our things before you left?" Gaara backhanded Lee in the shoulder. Lee flinched.

"I am sorry! I did not think to! B-but," He hesitated, "you did not check either! So you cannot place all the blame on me!"

"I can and I will." Gaara snarled. They quickly returned to the fork in the road that they had left some time back.

"Which way did we come from again?"

"Left." Gaara answered.

"Are you sure?"

"_Left_."

Left they went. Lee was driving at a swift seventy-five miles per hour, much faster than before. Gaara's feet were no longer on the dashboard. He was staring ahead of him, waiting for the building to appear over the horizon. Surprisingly, after fifteen minutes or so, it never came.

"Are you absolutely _sure_ we were supposed to go left?"

"Yes, it was definitely left. You know I don't forget." Gaara's voice was its regular steady and certain monotone, but he was starting to question himself, which almost never happens. Lee glanced at him from the corner of his eye, probably noticing. Sometimes Gaara hated that Lee knew him so well.

"We should have passed it by now-"

"_Wait_. Stop." Gaara interrupted him. Lee slowed to a halt and put the car in park.

"What is it?" Lee asked, sounding curious. Nothingness- a dirt road and a few tiny shrubs. Crickets chirped and set a lilt as darkness fell over the landscape. Gaara got out, looking around with a critical eye. Lee followed suit and circled the car to stand by his side. The stale humidity was making their hair frizz. "What?"

"Look. It was here."

"What was here? The station? There is nothing-" Lee's words trailed off. Gaara got down on one knee, brushing a thin layer of dust from a rusted metal sign. 'Gas & Garage', it read. "I-is that…?" It had aged, somehow, by _years_. He was sure that it was the same sign that they had seen not forty-five minutes earlier. It even had the same yellow stain in the upper right-hand corner. He turned to stare up at Lee whose mouth had fallen open.

"Something's not right…" Lee stated, rather redundantly. Gaara got back on his feet, brushing the dirt off of his pants. They stood in silence, looking out over the expanse of empty space that _must have been_ the same place they stopped at earlier. Scattered old chunks of wood littered the ground, aged and rotting. An oilcan sat corroding on its side, half buried in dirt.

"This has to be some kind of trick." Gaara refused to believe that an entire building could vanish into thin air in just under an hour. "We must have made a mistake. We should have turned right."

"No." Lee said, slipping his hand into Gaara's and gripping it tight. "I do not think so, Gaara-kun."

Gaara squeezed back. He tried to suppress the strange, coiling feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Hn. Let's get out of here. We'll report the robbery when we get to the next town."

"Why not use your cell-" Gaara cut Lee off with a look, "-phone…Ah. It was in my bag." Lee chuckled, scratching sheepishly at the back of his neck. "Why do you not keep important things in _your_ knapsack?"

"Because _you_ insist on carrying everything. You treat me as if I'm a weakling." Gaara growled, jabbing Lee painfully in the side. "All you let me take was the food and the freaking _map_." Lee said nothing, shrugging apologetically and muttering something along the lines of 'oh, right' under his breath. "No more road trips. Never again."

"Oh, Gaara-kun, please do not say that! At least we are still together, right?"

Gaara considered that. His inner-pessimist told him to ignore it. "Hn."

"And at least we still have the car!"

"I suppose..." That's true. If they had been forced to walk down an unpaved road at night, he might've had to kill somebody.

Lee pulled the car keys from his back pocket and jostled it into the transmission. The car sputtered and huffed, but the engine didn't start. Lee tried again. It made a clunking sound, hammered the cover, and died. Gaara did not react. His face was deadpan. Lee scratched his bowl cut, getting out with a grumble to check under the hood. This was not happening.

"It is…not working." Lee pointed out the obvious. Gaara did not respond. "Um…Gaara-kun? I know this looks bad, but…it will be all right. I am sure of it!" Lee grinned, jumped around the car and opened the door to let Gaara out. "It seems that we will…have to walk for a while." His cheery tone wavered slightly.

Gaara wasn't getting out. His eyes were hard as rocks. His head moved slowly, as though possessed. "It's. Not. Working." He repeated, livid. "We have to _walk_."

"Erm…Yes, Gaara-kun, that appears to be the case."

Gaara climbed out of the useless metal hunk of uselessness and crossed his arms. He glowered up into Lee's worried and concerned eyes. "I _refuse_."

"You _cannot_ refuse, Gaara-kun. There is no other option."

"Fate is trying to screw me over again. I refuse to give it the pleasure of know that it has won."

Lee released a heavy sigh, making a show of shrugging his shoulders. "You have snapped, I am afraid." He grinned deviously. "It looks as though I will have to carry you."

Gaara, previously in a state of complete and utter hatred, deflated just a little in what can only be described as confusion. "What?"

Lee didn't give him a chance to think about it. He lifted him, backpack and all, and cradled him to his chest like a newlywed. Gaara blinked with a sneered, and started kicking. "Put me down," He threatened. Lee only held him tighter. The material of his stupid spandex tee clung to Gaara's clothes.

"Sorry. No can do!"

"Seriously, Lee. Put. Me. _Down_!" Lee started walking. Gaara was flailing and kicking and trying in vain to hit whatever part of Lee he could. The man was like a rock. Oh, the demented irony. Eventually, he just gave up.

"I hate you."

"I love you." Lee bent over and kissed the redhead right smack on the lips.

"Put me down. I'll walk."

"Are you sure? I rather like carrying you like this."

"You're too hot." Gaara shifted a bit. "I feel like I'm being pressed up against a furnace."

"Well, forgive me! I cannot help the fact that I naturally run warm." Lee said defensively, placing Gaara back on his feet.

Gaara hummed, stretching his legs. "Understandably. Come on. We have a long way to go."

Lee slung his arm over Gaara's shoulder and drew him close, heat be damned. He has always been affectionate. Feeling slightly comforted from the gesture, Gaara rested his head on Lee's upper arm. He struggled not to accept the hopelessness of the situation.

"This sucks."

"Everything in life happens for a reason, Gaara-kun."

"What possible reason could there be for this?"

Lee only smiled, no doubt unable to answer. Gaara rolled his eyes and opted to distract himself with the moon. Bright, full, phlegmatic, it hung above their heads as though eternal. But something deep inside told him to watch and wait. He knew instinctively that there would be an eclipse tonight.

_Creshto: This is a test. This is only a test. I'm kind of leaving this one up to you guys. Continue? Yesh? No? Question mark? Exclamation point! I can't exactly guarantee that the quality of my writing will remain static if you do ask that I continue- it tends to get worse as it progresses- but I'd do my very best, I would! :D ANYWHO…Yep, I'm done._


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One:

"What animal do you think made _that_ noise?" Lee asked, lips twitching with a nervous smile. He tried to hide the unease in his voice with innocent curiosity. It wasn't working. Gaara could still hear it. He could hear, see, _smell_ anxiety on a person from a mile away.

He didn't respond though, frowning deeply and drawing himself closer to Lee's side for warmth. He pulled a face. The temperature was dropping steadily. In Suna, this would be normal. Days were sweltering; nights were cold. But in this terrain it should still be lukewarm, at the very least, even after the sun went down. It was summer, after all.

Night sounds. Crickets here, a pattering of rodent feet there, and the occasional howling wolf in the distance. Such noises had been relaxing at first, then annoying, then they drifted into the background as though none of them were ever there. Which, in the end, is why neither of them noticed when they faded all together. Silence.

Gaara stopped, grabbed Lee's arm, and turned around to glare pointedly down the road. Something was off. Lee watched him glare for a moment, surprised. "What is it?"

No answer. Gaara was glaring around like a fox on the prowl. A wind started picking up, throwing dirt in their faces. "It's too quiet." Gaara mumbled, and with one last look around, he started walking again, faster than before. Lee stayed close to his side, protective and warm. Not that he thought Gaara needed his protection, no sir!

"Um…hey, Gaa-kun? Is it just me or is it getting even darker?"

Gaara looked up. A shadow was passing over the moon. "Eclipse." He replied, not feeling very talkative. He felt, more or less, like falling asleep there in the road, which was never a good sign. He'd been fighting it off for quite awhile, and now his exhausted mind was throwing rocks against his skull. It hurt.

"Eclipse? Tonight? How will we see?" Lee was definitely starting to worry. He was holding Gaara so close, he was practically carrying him. "There are no streetlights out here!"

"You forget about the stars." Teal eyes locked onto black ones, sure and resolute. Inwardly though, his confidence was wavering. Something about tonight was throwing him back into old patterns, and it was taking all of his self-control not to snap, throw himself on the ground, and just scream. Lee was an anchor. He hoped he would be enough.

"The stars," Lee repeated, chewing on his bottom lip. It was getting colder, and darker progressively. Clouds, slowly, were rolling in overhead. He eyed them warily. "How will they shine through the clouds, though…? Actually, why _are_ there clouds? I do not remember any storm reports for tonight," He muttered. "The radio said it would be clear and 68 degrees." And yet the wind was really whipping up.

"It was wrong."

"Apparently," Lee conceded. He looked up and stared in awe at the moon. Slowly, it was being blotted out of the sky. An eighth of it was already gone.

The wind threw dust in his eyes. "Ah!" He stopped and bent over to rub the sting away.

Gaara waited. "Lee." He sighed. The clouds continued rolling in.

"Sorry, Gaa-Eh!" Lee had blinked up furiously, his eyes watering, only to flail away when something struck him in the forehead. He rubbed his poor head with a pout. "I am sorry I am holding us up, Gaara-kun, but is it really necessary to throw _rocks_ at me?"

"I didn't throw anything." Gaara said, slightly offended. He bent over and searched the ground for the assailant projectile. A faint gleam caught his eye. He picked up a tiny, rounded piece of ice. "Hail?" That couldn't be good.

"Ow! OW!" Lee ducked, shielding his poor head. "What the heck is-Ow!"

Gaara threw his hands over his head, cringing against the sudden and building onslaught of ice pellets. Lee's eyes were wide as saucers, his teeth clenched as he wrenched off his shirt to hold up as a makeshift umbrella. He pulled Gaara to the ground beside him, huddling under their tiny shield. Lee shivered.

"Lee! Come closer!"

"The weather man was wrong, Gaa-kun!" Lee spit out a mouthful of dirt, spluttering, coughing as another wicked gust kicked up. A heavy mixture of hail and rain was beating down. The shirt wasn't helping. Honestly, it could only stretch so far! "Very, very wrong!"

"Shut up!" Gaara had to shout over the roaring wind, the hail, and the rain. He screwed his eyes shut and threw himself against Lee's naked chest. Lee struggled to keep his balance. He was tempted to lower his arms and wrap them over Gaara's shoulders, but in the end, he decided it wouldn't be a good idea to remove their only means of protection for a hug (or death grip).

He was beginning to panic. "What is going on!" The wind nearly knocked him off of his feet all together.

Meanwhile, Gaara was trying his hardest to intellectualize the situation. Hail. Strong winds. Rain. He pulled away from Lee's chest to peek at the sky. Lightning.

A crash of thunder made Lee flinch violently.

"Tornado," Gaara said, stunned. Lee's head whipped down. Gaara could see, just barely, wide and frightened eyes staring down at him in disbelief. "They can come on suddenly…"

"T-tornado! Here? _Where_?"

Their ears were ringing. If Lee didn't know any better, he would say a train was rushing by. Gaara tried to look around, but the wind and dirt were coating his eyes. He couldn't see.

A large shrub cut up Lee's arm and smacked Gaara in the side. "Gaara-kun! Do not let go of me!"

Gaara didn't have to be told twice.

Lee released his shirt. It took off in the wind. Lee wrapped his arms around Gaara as tightly as he possibly could and Gaara clung to him like glue on paper.

Lee couldn't remember a time when his heart beat so fast; he was sure it would kill him. Amidst the wind and rain and debris –thrashing, thrashing- his panic reached its peak. He'd seen movies. He'd seen pictures. Tornados, he was fairly certain, _killed people!_

The wind kept tearing at their faces and skin. The storm picked them off the ground like feathers. They couldn't open their eyes, couldn't scream, and couldn't hear it even if they did. Gaara was feeling helpless. His senses were being abused. Pressure was building.

One of Lee's hands was still in his, but the rest of him was gone from his grip. Wet, slick from rain, being pushed and pulled from all sides by wind and flying sticks, his grip was slipping. He didn't want to be alone in this. He didn't want to die yet. Not this way. Not alone. Not now. Not here.

_No_.

"_No!" _ His hand had been ripped away. He was alone somewhere in the storm. Lee was alone. And they were going to die. Alone.

He didn't know where he was, where Lee was, where up was, where down was, where that damned branch in his mouth came from, or when all of this would stop. Suddenly, the twister spit him out.

His back hit the ground and knocked out his air.

He couldn't breathe. The world went black. It started to snow.

… : … : …

"Mm! Ooh." Lee groaned, twitching awake. He had one hell of a migraine, and…and why was he so cold? He shot upright, blinking furiously. Powder tumbled off his torso and fell from his hair. What had happened? "G-…Gaara-kun?" He shouted. He looked around and promptly slapped himself in the face. Obviously he was still asleep, because this _must_ be dream.

"Ungh…"

Lee flinched, scrambling to his feet and spinning around himself three times. He stumbled over something buried under the…under the snow. Huh.

It was _snowing_. And there were spruce trees _everywhere_.

"Least I know why I am so cold…" He shivered, suddenly remembering that he wasn't wearing a shirt. His eyes widened as he finally spotted a body, half coated in a thin layer of powder, sprawled at the base of a tree. "Gaara-kun!"

"Mmm…" Gaara pressed shut his eyes. Someone touched his hair. He blinked up, dazed by the whiteness of the sky, and then he saw Lee, shirtless and frazzled. He was talking so fast, Gaara couldn't understand him, and he made no effort to try.

"Snow. It's snowing," He whispered. He tried to sit up, dusting the snow from his chest. "Where are we?"

"Gaara-kun, please take it easy! You are paler than usual," Lee doted. He kept lifting Gaara's arms and checking him all over for injuries.

"Lee, stop it." Gaara gently swatted his hands away. "Are you hurt?"

"Me?" Lee blinked, as though his own health never once crossed his mind. He looked himself over. "I feel…strangely fine. Except for this headache, of course."

Gaara nodded. His head, too, felt like it'd been beaten with a hammer.

"Gaara-love?" Lee bit his lip and averted his eyes, uncomfortable. "Do you think… Do you think that, perhaps…we are dead?"

"Dead?" Gaara eyed him warily. He looked around. They had been transported, somehow, to a completely different landscape. They appeared not to have any injuries when they should, according to reason, be severely wounded at the very least. And the tornado they had just suffered through had left no visible damages what so ever. "Possibly."

"Possibly?" Lee asked, wincing. "What do you mean, 'possibly'?"

"It means exactly that. I don't know what's supposed to happen when we die," Gaara said, studying his hand to see if anything had changed. It looked about the same. "I don't feel dead."

Lee nodded, scratching his cheek with freezing fingers. "Neither do I. But then again, what does death feel like?"

Gaara didn't answer, simply because he couldn't. If this _was_ death, then it was remarkably similar to life. He was freezing. He could taste snow, and dirt, and sticky spit. Pain. There was definitely pain. He rubbed at his throbbing temples. And he could still feel Lee's skin as he was pulled against a bare chest. "I cannot imagine that we are dead." Lee said. "If we were, my parents would be here. And yours. Right?"

"Hm." He wasn't sure if that was true. For Lee's sake, he hoped it was, but the idea of seeing his own father made his stomach churn unpleasantly. He changed the subject. "I'm hungry. And cold."

"Me too."

Gaara returned Lee's hug as always, and drank in the shared body heat. "I don't think we're dead."

"…Me neither." Lee's teeth were chattering. "We should try to find people."

Gaara hummed, pulled away, and slowly got to his feet, which were starting to tingle. He stretched his frozen legs. Everything went dark for a moment, and he was forced to wait for his vision to return. He was dehydrated. Lee, too, wavered from side to side as though his balance was off. Gaara waited for him to steady himself. "Come." He mumbled.

"Which way should we go?" Lee asked, trembling against the wind. Gaara eyed the snowflakes melting on his shoulders and pulled him close to share warmth.

"This time," Gaara said, "we go right."

Lee smiled. "Good thinking."

"Halt!"

They froze. Gaara turned around slowly, eyes narrowing. Lee turned as well, heart thumping in his chest. "Hello?" They couldn't see anyone.

"Up here!" A high-pitched voice shouted from above. "Back away from each other and put your hands above your head!"

Lee blinked. A little boy pointed a spear in their faces from the top of a particularly tall spruce. He was wearing moccasins, and an outfit that looked like it'd been made from some sort of animal skin. Face paint was smeared messily over his cheeks and running down the bridge of his nose. Gaara glared. He did not like kids.

He pushed the spear out from under his nose. "Don't point that thing at us."

"Hello there!" Lee said cheerily. "My name is Lee, and this is Gaara. It is a pleasure to meet you. Would you mind telling us-"

"Shut up!" Lee's mouth snapped closed as the spear was thrust back into his face. Wide-eyed and surprised, he was forced to bend over backwards to avoid being stabbed between the eyes. "I told you to put your hands above your heads!"

Gaara reacted immediately. "And I told you not to point that thing at us," he growled, grabbing the shaft of the weapon and trying to wretch if from the kid's hands. He was met with an impressive resistance for someone so small.

"Back up, back up! I am requesting help- position: 713! I've encountered two adults: both male. One is tall, the other's also tall, but mostly kinda short." Gaara scowled at that. "They're outside the boundaries and resisting arrest! And the short guy's trying to take my spear like a jerk! Repeat: back up!" The kid started shouting into a plastic cup that was strapped to his side. Gaara rolled his eyes. He wasn't in the mood to play.

His eyes widened when a voice answered back. Through a _cup_. He could feel Lee's hand tightening its grip on his. "We hear yah loud 'n clear, Fish! We're on our way and should arrive at your position in T-minus…um… T-minus soon!"

"Um…this seems like a fun game you are playing, and we would love to join you later-"

"Speak for yourself," Gaara muttered.

"-but we really must speak with an adult right now."

"I thought I told you to shut up! Step away from each other and put your hands over your heads! Now!"

Lee tried again with steely patience. "Please, this is not the time. What would your parents say if they knew you were acting like this? I am sure they would not want you playing with such a dangerous weapon."

"We're here, Fish!" Three more kids jumped into the clearing, wearing similar outfits and all handling identical spears. "We have you surrounded! Put your hands where we can see them!" One shouted. He was wearing a long, dragging scarf with the word 'Captain' smeared messily in white paint. Some of his front tooth was missing. Lee frowned deeply.

"Now, I really am getting tired of this. We are not playing your game!"

"Take them down, Rat!"

"Yessir!" A sickly boy saluted, firmly adjusting his glasses. He pulled something from behind his back.

"Ah!" Lee's wrist was captured and yanked away with rope. Gaara grabbed his other hand and tried to pull him back, glaring daggers at the kids surrounding them.

"_Go away._" He snarled, not attempting to hide the malice in his voice. The brat in the tree slunk back, but the others held their ground.

Lee, attempting to free his hand, shot Gaara a troubled look. "They are only children, Gaara-kun! Do not scare them!"

"Typical adult!" The leader yelled, running up to poke his spear against Lee's chest. "Always thinking they've got power over us. Always thinking they're better and smarter and braver and that we should '_eat our vegetables to grow up big and strong_!'" he mocked. "Cat, put 'em to sleep!"

"Right!"

"Put them to-?"

Lee yelped, hand zipping up to his shoulder. He plucked a feathered dart from his skin. Eyes sliding shut and checks flushing, he turned to Gaara in a sweeping motion.

"Gaa-love? I think I 'ave been drugged. Ha ha!" He dropped to his knees, smiling dopily- "Whooooa- theworldismovingfunny." -and promptly passed out.

Gaara panicked, dropping to his side to shake him awake. Something sharp struck his neck, like a bug bite. Shoot. He hadn't been paying attention. His eyelids drooped, though he fought to keep them open. They closed anyway. He forced them to work. The ground looked like it was… getting closer.

Gaara struggled to wrap his mind around any lucid sort of thought._'…Snow seems much colder when you're lying in it.' _He gave up.

… : … : …

Gaara awoke slowly. His arms and legs were bound and something was blocking his eyes. A blindfold? He ran his tongue over the rope in his mouth that was stopping him from demanding an explanation. His head felt fuzzy.

Where was Lee?

Something brushed his hand. It was familiar, warm, and it was Lee's knuckles. He closed his eyes in relief and it was easier to breath. He tried to focus.

"… must be foreigners." Kids voices again.

"Definitely. Just look at their clothes. That one ain't even wearing a shirt. And they have no bracelets!"

"What do you suggest, cap'n?"

"We've gatta consult boss! He'll know what to do."

"Yessir!" Two chirped in unison, and they started moving. Gaara realized he was on some sort of cart. The ground was rocky. Lee started yelling around the gag in his mouth, but nothing he said was intelligible.

They stopped again after a good five-minute ride, during which Lee had managed to grab a handful of Gaara's sleeve. He held it like a lifeline. They heard a knock.

"What's the password?" Someone shouted. The voice was muffled from behind a door, but Gaara could swear it sounded older, deeper. Finally, someone over the age of ten.

"Ramen!"

"Enter!"

A door opened and the cart was wheeled into a building. The air was instantly warmer and Gaara felt Lee shiver a little less violently.

"Hey boss!"

"Ne, ne, what's this? Who're these guys? Why is he shirtless?"

"I don't know, boss. That's why we brought 'em here! The kids voice grew soft. "We found them in Position 713, boss. That's why we thought you might want us to bring them here instead of the interrogation unit." The grip on Gaara's sleeve tightened.

"713…" The 'boss' whispered. "Untie them!"

Gaara listened as two of the kids got on their knees. One of them started untying his blindfold, and the other, he assumed, got to work on Lee's. Incoherent garble suddenly became words as Lee's gag came out.

"-_entirely unyouthful_! Gaara-kun! Gaara-kun, please tell me you are alright!" Lee wailed. Gaara's blindfold seemed to slide off slower than molasses.

The rope loosened and he let it fall. "I'm okay." He said. Lee was still quite bound, as was himself, but they were facing each other. Lee stared at him, his lips pressed in a firm line. "It's okay." Gaara tried to reassure him, and himself. Seeing Lee was more of a relief than he thought he needed.

He turned on the others. A blond was gaping at them like they were some sort of new toy. In his sapphire blue eyes, Gaara could see his own reflection, and damn, did he look pissed.

"What the hell is going on?" He demanded more than asked

"Yes, please, tell me this is all a dream!" Lee sounded desperate. "I miss Gai-sensei!"

"Lee, shut up." Gaara forced himself to sit upright. It wasn't an easy maneuver, but he managed to make it look graceful. He glared daggers. "There had better be a good explanation for this."

"C-can I please have a shirt or something?"

"Lee, _shut up_."

"Yes, Gaara-kun." Lee hung his head dejectedly and the girl in the corner with the weird pigtails snickered.

"Were you guys caught in a sandstorm, too?"

"What?" Gaara snapped.

"The sandstorm!" The blond fell to his knees and shuffled forward, eyes wide with wonder. "You're not _from_ here! I don't recognize _either_ of you! You're from my dimension! _Finally_, I'm not alone!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Obviously, Gaara-kun," Lee said, "He's insane. _We're_ insane. None of this is really happening because all of us are insane! Hahaha!"

"No, no!" The blond shook his head, leaning in to untie Gaara's wrists. "Look, how did you guys get here?"

Lee answered before Gaara had the chance, "We do not know!"

"I don't know how I got here either!" He yelled, "Sixth months ago, I was driving down this dirt road on my way to the Tea Country-"

"Route 21?" Lee asked.

"Yeah, yeah!"

"That's the one _we_ were on!" Lee's yelled. "The gas station-"

"It disappeared, right? The same thing happened to me, dattebayo! Asshole stole my bags so I went back to teach the guy a lesson, but it was gone, and then the sandstorm hit. I got knocked out and I woke up in 713 with a headache the size of the whole freaking Fire Nation."

Gaara rubbed his wrists as the blond took his ropes off and frowned, his head pounding. He growled to himself under his breath. "Will both of you _shut up_?"

"Sorry," The blond whispered, wincing. "Head still hurt?"

"Mn."

"Sorry," He whispered again. "My names Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto to be exact." Lee smiled and held out his hand, which one of the kids had just untied.

"I am Rock Lee and this is Gaara-kun."

The kid with the scarf shuffled his feet. "We're sorry we attacked you guys, but we kinda had to. We weren't sure if you were escapee's or not, and we had to keep up appearances."

"Escapee's?" Lee asked, head tilting.

"Eh, Konohamaru! Would you guys go outside and guard for a while, ne?" 

"Sure boss! Call if you need anything!"

"Yeah." Naruto waved them out and they left dutifully. Gaara's eyes narrowed in thought. "So are you guys from Konoha?"

"I am! Gaara-kun is from Suna." Lee stood up and stretched his legs.

"Lee, don't tell him anything." Gaara said. "We still don't know who he is."

"But he just said-"

"I know what he said. But for all we know, he could be the one that brought us here."

"_Eeeh_?" Naruto's eyes snapped open. "I did not! I'm in the same damn situation as you two! I want to go home!"

"Prove it." Gaara snapped, grabbing Lee's wrist to pull him away.

"How the hell am I supposed to do that?" Naruto screeched. "I've been stuck here for _months_ trying to figure out how to get back!"

"Tell us what the hell is going on."

"Geez, the Bushy-brows guy seems much nicer than you…" The blond trailed off, flopping into the office chair behind the desk. They lapsed into a very uncomfortable silence. Gaara was making note of all the exits, Lee was nervously chewing at his bottom lip, and Naruto appeared to be staring into deep space, lost in thought.

"We switched dimensions."

"What?"

Naruto had taken them both by surprise, and his eyes were strangely serious. For the first time since he'd gotten here, Gaara almost felt that he could trust him, but it was short-lived. This guy sounded like a loon.

"I know it sounds crazy, but hear me out. There was some sort of… portal or something in the sandstorm. Or, I guess in the tornado for you guys." Another moment of silence, and his blue eyes slid shut. "We're not in our world anymore."

Gaara turned around and threw open the door. "Ah, hey!" Lee was being dragged unceremoniously behind him.

"U-uh, wait! Don't go!" Naruto scrambled to catch up. Konohamaru and his two friends looked up from where they were playing cards outside the door.

"Yo, Gaara, man, you can't just go like this! You'll be capture-"

"We're going home. And you can be sure as fuck I'll be sending you a lawsuit for this."

Lee tripped over himself trying to keep up with his fast pace. "Please stop, Gaara-kun, we need to talk this through! We do not even know where we are! _And I am not wearing a shirt_!"

"You've got pants on. You'll survive."

"You are not being reasonable!"

Naruto stopped following them, brows furrowed as they took a left down a poorly paved street. They were heading toward town. He clenched his fists until his knuckles blanched. Under his breath, he growled. He couldn't follow them himself. "Trail 'em, guys. If they get caught, bring them back here. Don't let them get hurt. Tell the brats I'll take care of them myself. Make something up so they don't get suspicious."

"What should we say you'd do with 'em?"

"How should I know, Moegi? Make somethin' good up!" Naruto rubbed at his hair in frustration. "Just…don't let them die!"

_Creshto: Well, gee :3 I got some very sweet reviews that made me feel all fuzzy-warm inside(I love the three of you!). So I started writing. Um, I don't really know where this is gonna go. I'm literally taking it one page at a time with no outline to speak of. We'll see what happens, eh? Maybe I'll bring in the rest of the rookie nine…Pairings? Gimme some suggestions! All are welcome!_


	3. Chapter 2 Part 1

Chapter 2:

Gaara never loosened his grip on Lee's wrist and it was really starting to smart. Lee had remained silent for a long time, but he was getting tired of biting his tongue. "That was very rude of you."

"Don't be a fool." Gaara said. "He was either crazy or trying to get something from us."

"You need to have more trust in people!"

"You need to have less. Someone is going to hurt you one day."

"It would not be the first time."

"Then why haven't you _learned_?"

"Because the majority of people are _good_! How come you never trust my judgment?" Lee yelled, losing his temper. "If you cared about me half as much as I care about _you_-" Lee hastily cut himself off, turning away with a rare scowl on his face.

"Then _what_, Lee?" Gaara stopped walking to glare at him.

Lee closed his eyes, disappointed in himself. "Nothing. I am sorry."

"Hm." Gaara turned away, looking indifferent, but Lee's words had stung and they both knew it. Lee's hand slid into his and he squeezed it.

"I did not mean it like that, Gaara-kun."

Gaara frowned, nodding. "…I know." He could practically feel Lee's guilt. He changed the subject. "Why the hell does stuff like this have to happen to us?"

Lee smiled. "Everything happens for-"

"A reason." Gaara finished for him. "Stop saying that."

"Everything happens for a reason, and everything happens for the best."

"…You're foolishly optimistic."

"And that is why you love me!" Lee chirped. His mood had done a total three-sixty in the past minute, but Lee was like that. Gaara's lips upturned in a barely-there smile.

They were getting closer to a town with every step. Gaara was glad for it. It wasn't snowing anymore, but it was still damn cold and he wasn't sure how much farther he could go without a jacket. He could only imagine how freezing Lee felt.

"Pick that up, Ojii-san!"

Lee's ears perked and he looked up, squinting into the distance. Gaara, too, scanned the horizon for the young voice he'd heard, but all he saw was a middle-aged man in rags, bending over to get an apple.

They were both taken aback when the kid walked out from behind a building, wearing war paint on his cheeks and carrying a whip. "Now get a move on! Let's get this done before snack time!" He cracked it with a wicked 'snap!' just near the man's back, and Lee openly gaped.

The elder admonished, "Watch your mouth, young man."

"Shut up!"

Gaara blinked, grabbing Lee by the arm. He pulled them both behind a cart and they crouched. He noticed newspapers- no, what he thought was newspapers, but they were crudely drawn with crayons. The headlights: Big Fart Rips Through Cafeteria! Video Game Stock Fallinging! Fruit Roll-up Crisis?

"What are we doing?" Lee whispered. Gaara signaled for him to be quiet and Lee nodded like it was a mission. "Right. Sneaky." They watched.

Adults, ragged and miserable, their faces browned from countless hours in the sun, were being treated as _slaves_. Some were tied together with heavy-duty ropes like criminals in a chain gang. Kids, none older then twelve, were wielding whips and sticks, ordering them to-and-fro, forcing them to carry baskets full of food.

"What in the world…?" Lee voiced both of their thoughts. "I do not think we are in the Fire Nation anymore, Gaara-kun." He shuddered with the cold, teeth starting to chatter.

"We must be misinterpreting this. It can't be what it looks like," Gaara mused.

"Hey! You two!"

"Run," Gaara said, and run they did. Lee started running particularly fast, grateful for an opportunity to get his blood flowing. He grabbed Gaara's wrist and held on tight so he was forced to keep up. Behind them, a high-pitched whistle started squealing. And then several.

"We've got runaways!"

…Five Minutes Later…

"Crap."

They were surrounded. A flock of snotty looking kids were smirking and pointing spears. "No where left to run, old farts."

"_Old?_" Lee screeched, getting frazzled. "I am not even twenty yet! What is _wrong_ with you kids?"

Gaara simply glared.

"So, you thought you could escape, didja?"

A girl chuckled. "Idiots!" Others laughed and snickered with her.

"Hey now! Name-calling is unnecessary! It is highly unbecoming of a young lady!" Lee waggled his finger at the girl disapprovingly. She only rolled her eyes.

Gaara growled, getting tired of it all. "Get the fuck away from us."

Lee and Gaara were quickly drowned in a collective gasp. Little eyes went wide. Someone whispered, "He said a forbidden word…" And Gaara cursed his crappy luck.

"Get 'em!"

And for the second time that day, Gaara and Lee found themselves being attacked, bound, and gagged. Fifteen or so kids with pointy objects can be quite the opposing force. Fighting was virtually useless. Plus, Lee didn't want to hurt any of them. They were only kids, after all. But, really, was this any way for young adults to behave? He would certainly be having a word with their parents.

They were dragged back to town surrounded by a circle of whoops and cheers, and this time, they weren't taken to see Naruto. This time, they were being pulled into a sallow little hut-like house labeled, 'Prison." The 'r' was written backwards. How annoyingly quaint.

Gaara's nose immediately wrinkled in disgust. It smelled of something fowl in there, like rotting food. Lee nearly gagged. He would have had he not actually _been_ gagged.

"'Sup, guys?"

"Hey, Moose." A few kids echoed to a freckled pre-teen sitting at a desk, staring in a daze at a glowing TV screen. "Guess what we've got for yah." The talking brat jerked at the rope tied around Lee's arms.

The freckled boy finally tore his eyes from the screen and looked their way. He smiled a wicked smile. "Escapers? Haven't had any of those in a while." Freckle kid stood up and rounded on them. "This should be…" he paused for dramatic effect which made Gaara roll his eyes, "fun. Let's put 'em in…the _purple_ _room_!"

"Gasp! The purple room!"

Lee wondered if he heard correctly or if the kid to his left actually just _said_ 'gasp.'

"Hell yeah! Have fun watching 24 straight hours of Barney, old bastards!"

…The purple dinosaur?

Lee and Gaara could only stare blankly. This was their form of torture? Not that it would be particularly _pleasant_, but it wasn't really torture either. Kids.

They were taken down a long hallway. Then, as they turned a corner, they could hear crying muffled behind a door.

"Please, turn it o-o-off! Pleeeaase!" Someone sobbed.

"Not 'till you're time is up, Chiyoko!" Freckled boy yelled. "She's been in their for two hours." He said conversationally, walking lazily past the girls' door. "She's got three more."

"What'd she do?"

"Tried to see her parents." He scoffed. "Little kids are so weak."

The others laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world.

"Alright, this is good. Just throw 'em in."

"Shouldn't we put them in separate rooms?"

"Usually, yeah, but this is the only one empty now."

There was a short pause before the kid holding Lee's rope shrugged. "Kay." They moved Lee and Gaara into separate corners of a very small, very sparse room. They were not untied. Freckled kid popped a tape into a Television on a cart. When the screen fuzzed on, he looked at his two prisoners and smiled a sinister smile. "Enjoy."

He shut the door and left. Lee chewed his lower lip uncomfortably. The screen was still fuzzy white, screaming white noise at the top of its lungs when he looked over to Gaara, trying to scoot to his side. It was difficult.

It took lot of wriggling, but he made it. He nuzzled their cheeks together, sighing through his nose. Gaara closed his eyes.

The lights in the room went off. Both of them looked up as the white noise stopped.

On came…something. Something horrible. The volume was up too high, deafeningly high. The screeching music was so freakishly pitched, only dogs should've been able to hear it. Both Lee and Gaara cringed and hunched in on themselves. Gaara wished his hands were untied so he could cram his fingers in his ears.

The images popping up were horrifying, straight from the deepest bowls of hell, and Lee whimpered very pathetically around his gag. That wasn't the purple dinosaur he remembered.

The worst part: they couldn't tear their eyes from the screen.

"Wus h'ppn'n?" Lee yelled, his gag stifling his words.

Gaara couldn't answer. He felt like he was watching the darkest parts of his imagination manifest. The moaning, terrifying, heartbeat music. The dinosaur with the terrible face prancing around on screen. He pressed his body closer to Lee's. Lee pressed back. The tips of their fingers met from where they hung out of the rope.

He felt bad for that little girl in the other room.

"G'ra-k'n," Lee whined.

Gaara wanted to close his eyes. He tried to calm himself down, even out his breathing. He needed to intellectualize things.

When he took a moment to think (and his thoughts were very broken and scattered), he started to recognize the images he was seeing. They were the _exactly the same _as the children's show that used to play when he was younger, but they were somehow being warped or something. It was the same show, but _hideous_. It didn't make sense.

"I love you, you love me!" Barney started singing, and Lee whined again. It sounded… evil_- it was earsplitting! Evil_. Gaara wanted to rip apart the TV. He got to work at jimmying himself from his ropes, but they wouldn't budge. And he still couldn't look away from the glowing screen, bright and menacing in the darkness.

He was starting to feel sick to his stomach. He was getting nauseous. His head was swimming. Lee was squirming like a dog under the wheel of a car, which was a gruesome image in itself. Damned show was influencing Gaara's _thoughts_.

He couldn't take much more of this.

He started seeing double.

The TV became two, which quickly became four, then six. They were taking over the room. They were all he could see. And then he was living in it.

After a while, he wasn't sure how much time had passed. His senses were shredded apart and it felt like he'd been in that movie forever. He couldn't even build the will to find Lee.

Was he breathing? Was he even conscious? He didn't know.

"Snap out of it!" Someone slapped him clean across the face. Gaara's vision went white.

He was startled to realize that the music had stopped, replaced by a high-pitched ringing in his ears. He closed his mouth, which he hadn't noticed was hanging open. It was filled with metallic tasting spit.

Gaara squeezed his eyes shut and sucked in breath after breath. It felt like he'd been held underwater for too long.

When he opened his eyes again, they had trouble refocusing to the lit room and the face infiltrating his personal space. Spots were dancing everywhere. "Mmm."

"You're okay, Scary-Eyes."

"What?" Gaara shut his eyes again. "…Lee?"

"Nuh uh. Konohamaru."

"Where's Lee?"

"Over there. Moegi's takin' care of him." Konohamaru turned away for a moment and grimaced, looking at something. "He's kind of a mess."

"Hm." Gaara swallowed a few times to clear his mouth of the taste. "Where are we?"

"Still in the same place. Sit up a bit and look around.

Gaara didn't. His head hurt. He could hear Lee acting hysterical in the background, all garbled words and heavy breathing. "How long?"

"How long, what?"

Gaara would have rolled his eyes if they weren't in so much pain. "Were we _in_ here?"

"Oh." Konohamaru hummed thoughtfully, tapping at his chin. "'Bout three hours, maybe? Four? It took us a while to convince Moose that we would take care of you guys."

Four hours. Felt like much more than that. "What do you want?"

"Boss wanted us to keep you safe." Gaara grimaced at Konohamaru's loud voice.

Lee's rapid squabbling suddenly broke off. "Gaara-kun! Dear Lord, Gaara-kun, you are okay! I did not think that either of us would come out of that- I thought we would never see each other again-!"

"Lee, lower your voice or I will kill you."

"You are not hurt, are you? !"

"I'm not a weakling."

"I was so worried!" Gaara's breath was knocked out of him as Lee slammed onto his chest. He was scooped up into a vicious hug.

Gaara finally managed to peel open his eyes. The world was too bright, but luckily it was dulled by Lee's black hair. Lee stole Gaara's lips with his.

"Eeew! Ew! Ew! Ew!"

"Aww!" Moigi squealed.

Konohamaru spat and shuddered, and this time Gaara did roll his eyes. "Cut it out! Ugh. Gross. Can we just go? Please?"

"Fine." Gaara pushed himself away from Lee, forcing himself into a sitting position. "I suppose this… Naruto is worth listening to."

"All right!" Konohamaru cheered. He gave his sickly friend a high five and pumped a fist in the air. "Mission accomplished! Now get off each other and tie yourselves back up! We're out of here!"

Lee and Gaara shared a look. "Why do we have to-"

Moegi interrupted with a dismissive flap of her wrist. "'Cause we've gatta make it look like we're taking you to get punished." She leaned in and whispered. "So, make sure you look scared."

… : … : …

"So, a different dimension."

Naruto nodded with an affirmative, "Mm."

"I knew it!"

"You did not," Gaara stated. "And what did I tell you about yelling?"

Lee frowned, pouting. "No yelling."

"…Or?"

"You'll kill me."

"Mm."

Naruto's head bounced from Lee to Gaara as though he was watching a tennis match. He snickered a little. "Jeez, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you two were hitched!" He leaned back in his chair, grinning like a fool with his hands behind his head. "Bushy-brow, he's got you whipped, dattebayo!"

Lee flushed red, chewing sheepishly on his smiling lower lip. "I am _not_ whipped."

Gaara was getting irritated. "Stay on subject." Naruto's grin faltered just a little.

"Yeah. Sorry." He got up and lifted a curtain that covered a doorway to another room. "Come on. We can sit." Lee smiled and grabbed Gaara's hand. They sat on a couch in another room. They were forced to clear it of empty ramen cups first. It smelled of must and stale food. "Anyway, where were we. Ah, right! What happened while you were in the purple room?"

"It was terrible, Naruto-san! They put on this horrid movie! The music was- I could not- and the _dinosaur_-!"

"It was bad." Gaara summarized. "You were never there?"

Naruto shook his head. "Nope. I was here when the kids first started taking over. I made friends with the Konohamaru corps., and when I saw things started getting bad, I came out here and became 'the boss'."

"The boss?" Lee asked with a blink.

"Mhm." Naruto nodded, getting up to pop another ramen cup into a microwave. He turned around. "Want one?" Lee and Gaara nodded. They were both starving. He took two more out and started talking, "Yeah, 'the boss'. See, I wasn't always…treated well by adults when I was a kid. So when I heard that kids were planning a takeover, I just thought it'd be so cool. I dreamed about that sorta thing when I was younger, yah know? I started helping them."

"You _helped_ them?" Lee asked incredulously, "Surely you realized that it would not be a good idea!"

"Well," Naruto chuckled, embarrassed, "I kinda didn't think it through. Heh!" He shrugged. Gaara rolled his eyes. "Anyway, they were a lot smarter than kids from our dimension. Apparently, their plan was 'divide and conquer.' It worked.'"

"How did you realize this wasn't your dimension?" Gaara asked.

The microwave beeped and Naruto's eyes lit up. He actually squealed. "Ramen!" He took it out and popped in the next one before tearing at it like a ravenous dog. Through slurps, he answered. Soup shot everywhere. "There were little differences." He sucked up another mouthful of noodles. Gaara wondered how he managed to eat so fast. "I was here for, like, a month before I figured it out."

"What kind of differences?"

"There are big pink trees around the block. Pink! Not just the leaves, but the bark and everything! When you get to the end of the main road, you always end up back where you started, even though it goes straight. And I saw a wanted poster of this guy I knew, Ero Sennin, and he looked real different. Plus, he was wanted."

"Hence the poster."

"Yeah."

"And I once read in a magazine," he paused to swallow the rest of the soup in one big gulp, "about this guy that said he went to another dimension. He talked about getting in a storm, appearing in a strange place, just like us. He said-" Naruto's face scrunched up in thought "-that the only reason he got home, was 'cause he…um…saved something. Or something. Then a portal opened and sucked him in."

Gaara's expression was deadpan. "What other articles did you find in this magazine?"

"A few about aliens, one about an Elvis sighting, and another about Big Foot. Why?"

Lee sighed. "Gaara-kun, that does not matter. What other explanation can you find for all of this?"

"I'm dreaming in some sort of coma. It's a hallucination. I've gone insane and created an alternate universe within my own subconscious. Naruto is lying and all of this is some sort of trick-"

"Hey!"

"-We've somehow wandered into another town where children are bigger brats than they are at home. I have other theories. Take your pick."

"Gaara-kun," Lee admonished. "Please."

Gaara glared him in the eye, and Lee glowered back. It was an intense staring contest. Naruto could only raise an eyebrow. Somehow, he felt he was witnessing a silent conversation between two complete nut jobs. He graciously allowed it to continue.

Finally, Gaara looked away. "Fine."

"Thank you." Lee smiled triumphantly. "Now tell us, Naruto-san-"

"Naruto-_kun_." Naruto corrected. "You're cool, Bushy-brows." The microwave went off again and Naruto handed the cup to Lee, who smiled and passed it to Gaara.

"Why thank you, Naruto-kun!" He grinned. "Now, please, tell us what you think we should do. You must have some idea."

"Um, uh, erm, well, um…" Naruto trailed off, scratching his chin in thought. Gaara fought the urge to roll his eyes again. "I…kinda don't." Naruto scratched the back of his neck, smiling coyly. "Go figure!"

"Boss!" Konohamaru popped his head in. "I think I have an idea!"

"Were you listening that whole time?" Naruto shouted, shaking his fist. "You little brat, 'tebayo!"

Konohamaru only waved his hand. "Yeah, whatever! You wanna hear my plan or not?"

"All right, fine! You think you're smarter than me: go ahead! Tell us you're brilliant plan!" Naruto crossed his arms, huffing. Lee tried to hide a laugh.

"Well, you were saying that the other guy had to save something, right? Then figure out what you're supposed to save! You were obviously sent to this place for a reason! You said it yourself: there's no such thing as a coincidence!"

"That's stupid! You're stupid!"

"But you said-"

"Be gone, Konohamaru-brat!"

"You can't tell me what to do!" Konohamaru put one foot dramatically forward and shook his fist. Naruto did the same. Also dramatically.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh YEAH-?"

"Ye-!"

"Hey!" Moegi came stomping in, her hair in a mess and her teeth clenched in anger. She'd been trying to nap. "If you two don't shut up, you will both regret it! Konohamaru! Get out of there!"

"Why should- OW!" Moegi grabbed his ear and dragged him kicking and screaming from the room. Naruto laughed the whole time. Right before she left, Moegi stopped and pointed at him, eyes glowing blood red. Naruto didn't feel much like laughing any more. He cleared his throat and the room went quiet.

"Um. Wow." Lee said awkwardly. "That was quite a… youthful display of passion."

"Konohamaru's stupid." Naruto mumbled. "Anyway, you guys seem smart. Figure out how to get us home."

"Naruto," Gaara spoke. "Why are you called, 'the boss'?"

"Hmm? 'Cause I told the three brats how to take down adults. I've been 'the boss' and 'the advice man' ever since." He scratched the side of his face. "If I could take it back, I would. We didn't know it would be taken this far." His voice softened considerably. "They're really hurting people, you know."

"We saw." Gaara said. "But none of the other children know that you're an adult."

"Nope. They think I'm an eleven-year-old evil genius, which is why I always work through the Konohamaru corps. And they're on my side now. They wanna see their parents again."

"Hn."

"What are you thinking, Gaara-kun?" Lee asked, his eyes narrowing just so. He knew that expression well.

"We have no alternative."

Naruto cocked his head to the side, eyes squinted. "And that means…?"

"Assuming that all of this is, in fact, a product of my own subconscious (which is the only explanation this makes sense), then Konohamaru was an outlet through which my mind could provide the answer."

"This is not a dream, Gaara-kun, I assure you! I am experiencing all of this as well! Look!" He gave Gaara's arm a pinch. He flinched. "You feel pain!"

"The human brain is a very complex organ. I may only be convincing myself that I'm feeling pain. There was a book by William Corliss in which a study was done on a hypnotized patient. Blisters formed on his arm after he was told it was on fire. He was convinced that he was burning, and his body reacted due to the signals sent from his mind."

Lee groaned in defeat. Naruto continued to squint at him, apparently confused. "I don't get any of this."

"Gaara-kun believes that this is all a dream."

"But if it's a dream, how am I here?"

"Same way I am here, I suppose." Lee sighed. "Gaara believes we, too, are part of his dream."

"…But I don't feel like a dream."

"This is because you are not." Lee said. Naruto only continued to squint.

"So, he thinks this is a dream, but it's not, and he's crazy."

"Correct."

"Oh," Naruto said. "M'kay. Insane or not, tell us what are the plan is, Gaara-man!"

"We're going to stabilize reality."

"Now _I_ do not understand." Lee said, exasperated. Naruto cut in, nodding just as the microwave went off again. His ice blue eyes turned on them both, bright with understanding.

"Ne, ne, I get it! We'll rescue the adults and set this world straight again, yeah?"

"Hm." Gaara agreed. Because if his theory was correct: that should wake him up.

… : … : …

"I was only there once before all of this went down; back when parents were acting like parents. All: 'don't stay out after dark' and 'clean your room'. Looking back, I guess those things weren't so bad. Just, you know, annoying as freaking hell."

"To the point," Gaara reminded. Naruto blinked owlishly once, twice, thrice.

"Yeah, sorry. Anyways, I might not be remembering right, but I'm pretty sure they keep all the adults locked up in the old elementary school, behind the kitchen. They keep 'em all in separate rooms so they can't plan escapes together."

"It is rather brilliant, is it not?" Lee asked, getting distracted. "They must have had quite the plan in order to force them into seclusion like that in the first place."

"Yeah…" Naruto scratched embarrassedly at the back of his head, looking away. "That may have been my fault. I may have _accidentally_ recommended sleeping pills to the Konohamaru corps…yeah." Lee and Gaara gave him two stony stares. Naruto exploded, "I said it was an accident! What more do you want?"

"Your first act upon transferring to another universe was to help children overthrow their parents?" Lee reiterated. "What, Naruto-kun, were you _thinking_? Have you never heard the phrase, 'respect your elders'?"

"No, as a matter of fact, _Bushy-brow_, I haven't!" Naruto crossed his arms, indignant. "Can we just get back to planning this shit so we can go home?"

"Hm." Gaara gave them both a look, drawing their attention back to him. "We need to infiltrate their forces. Someone is going to have to get captured."

"I volunteer-" Naruto paused, striking a pose, and Lee smiled.

"That is very noble of you, Naru-"

"-Bush-brow."

"Huh?"

"I volunteer Bushy-brows."

"Naruto-kun, I thought we were friends!" Lee groused. "Fine, I will be captured. I for one have no problems _taking one for the team_." He glared pointedly at Naruto, who grinningly slung an arm over Lee's shoulder.

"Thanks Bushy-brows! I owe yah one."

"Then you will be the distraction," Gaara said.

"Distraction?" Naruto echoed. Gaara nodded.

"We need you to draw as many kids over here as possible so that when Lee is captured, he won't be tortured. They won't have enough forces to hold him down if something goes wrong."

"What am I supposed to do?" Lee asked.

"We'll discuss that later."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" Naruto shook his head. "You want me to bring all the kids here? They'll _see me_."

"Yes."

"But then I'll be captured and tortured for being an adult. And I get the feeling that they'll be more than a little pissed to find out I lied to 'em this whole time."

"Yes. So you'll have to stall them as long as possible from finding out. When they do, continue to keep them busy. Meanwhile, Lee and I will break out the adults."

In the pocket of silence that followed, Naruto's mouth hung open as though he might protest. He held one weak finger in the air. Lee tried to repress a small smile.

In the end, Naruto just gave up. His whole body seemed to deflate in one swift gust of air. "Fiiiine. I guess I deserve this for throwing Bushy-brows under the bus earlier..." Then, as an after-thought, he added, "And for lying…and for helping to create this mess in the first place." He looked up with a sort of determination in his eyes that Lee and Gaara hadn't seen before. "You guys can count on me. I promise I won't let you down. I know just how to get them here."

"How?" Lee asked, his eyes wide with wonder. Naruto's energy was rolling off him in waves now, and it was pumping Lee up. Naruto smirked.

"If there's one thing I know, it's how kids work. Just leave it to me."

Lee grinned, sitting straighter. Gaara, too, felt an extra boost of confidence, though he didn't outwardly show it. "Right. I'll remain here with Naruto until Lee contacts us. Lee, when you're captured and placed in the school, you have to let me know immediately. While you keep the remaining kids busy, I'll show up to break out the parents. "

"The security is pretty tight over there." Naruto warned them. "How are you gonna pull this off?"

"The _security_, as you call them, should be looser after you pull most of their numbers away from the town," Gaara reminded. He thought absently of the girl he heard crying in one of the rooms of the 'prison'. "And I'll manage. Naruto, do you have a cell phone?"

"Where would I get a cell pho-"

"I have one!"

"Me too!"

"Me three."

Konohamaru held an arm through the curtain/door with a cell phone in his hand. Moegi and Udon followed suit, screens glowing. Naruto growled, "Stop eavesdropping, you little-!"

"No. This is what we need."

"Yeah, hear that? Scary-eyes says this is what you need!" Konohamaru poked his face into the room and stuck out his tongue. Naruto growled angrily in return.

"Whatever… Where the hell did you get those?"

"The store." Konohamaru said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world._ "Everyone_ has a cell phone."

"_I_ don't."

"Correction: everyone _cool_ has a cell phone."

Naruto scoffed. "I'm way cool." Konohamaru and his friends could only shake their heads.

"I think you are cool, Naruto-kun." Lee tried to help, but Naruto sighed.

"You can't say I'm cool, Bushy-brows. Only someone cool can say I'm cool."

"What? I am way cool! I am in the springtime of youth!" Lee said defensively, and Gaara started rubbing his temples with the knowledge that his psychologist had his work cut out for him.

…_Many, many irritating minutes later_…

"Where are you?"

"I am right outside, Gaara-kun. I have not even reached the end of the road yet. Relax, love. It will all be okay. Everything is always okay. If we keep a positive outlook, the universe will give us positive results."

"You don't know that." Gaara said, looking out of Naruto's grimy window to see Lee walking further away from them. Naruto was watching him from the couch, looking amused. "Call me when you get there."

"I will." Lee promised. "By the way, tell Naruto-kun I said thank you for the shirt and jacket. I am not fond of cotton, but the orange color is very nice! Love you!" The line clicked off. Gaara put down the phone and continued to stare up the road even after Lee was out of sight.

"You're really protective of Bushy-brows, eh? Are you two related or something?"

"You're so dense!" Moegi yelled from the other room. Naruto ignored her. Gaara ignored him.

"Why aren't they here yet?"

"Konohamaru and Udon are still bringing 'em. They had to take a longer path to avoid Lee and to give us more time, remember?" Naruto told him. "Calm down, will yah? You're starting to give me a stomach ache."

There was a long break in the conversation where Gaara's grip tightened on the windowpane. The silence stretched.

"Heh. So, uh, wouldn't it suck if it turned out we were wrong and all of this was completely unnecessary? You know? Like, maybe there's some really uncomplicated reason that the portal opens, and it has nothing to do with saving or changing anything?"

Gaara turned to him, glared, and turned back to focus his hate and agony and worry outside. Naruto frowned, and sighed. He watched. He watched Gaara with an eye that'd seen it all. The silence from then on grew solemn. Gaara could feel the ramen churning in his stomach. His nerves were getting the best of him. And Naruto was still staring.

Quietly, Naruto said, "You were hurt a lot, huh."

Gaara finally turned around.

Naruto continued looking at him with that no-joke expression. Gaara wondered absently how he managed to be a million people at once: the idiot, the child, the adult, and somehow, Gaara was beginning to assume, the genius. Looking at him now, he could see an understanding in Naruto's eyes that made him want to look away. He didn't though. "What?"

"I can see it in the way you act. You cling to Lee like he's gonna disappear, but when it comes down to it, you still keep him at a distance so you can't get hurt. It's like you've never had a bond before. Wait, no. You have, but it was broken." Naruto's smile was sad. "Am I right?"

Gaara looked at him, his gaze scrutinizing, but he wasn't finding what he was looking for. Naruto was serious.

"I know how it feels to be stuck in the darkness. What did they call you? Called me a demon."

"Shut up," Gaara snapped.

Naruto only nodded. "Figured."

"You don't know anything."

"Actually, sometimes I thing I know _too_ much."

"You don't know anything," He repeated. "Shut up."

For a while, Naruto did. But they continued staring at each other for a long time. "I had no parents, you know."

"A lot of people were orphaned after the war."

"I had no friends," Naruto continued, as if Gaara hadn't just tried to verbally chop his balls off. "All my classmates seemed to hate me for no reason and their parents would always give me dirty looks like I had some sort of disease. 'Stay away from him', they said."

Gaara's eyes narrowed.

"They still hate me! Even in freaking High School! I can't figure it out." Naruto said. "I used to get beat up at night by packs of people even though I was so young. And I really wanted to hate them back. I _really_ did. But then I realized I still just wanted to gain their respect." Naruto grinned. "That's why I'm going to become Hokage! That way they'll _have_ to acknowledge me! Besides, I've already made you and Bushy-brows as friends. That's a start, isn't it?"

Gaara, inwardly, was a little bit startled and, for a reason he couldn't identify, a little afraid. "…You're stupid."

Naruto opened his mouth to respond, but Moegi poked her head in before he got the chance. "They're here!"

"Shit, shit! Ah, okay, Moegi, go out and do as we practiced!" Naruto got up and started doing a little nervous jig around the room as though he was looking for something but couldn't quite remember where he put it. "Gaara, man, help me out! What was I supposed to do?"

"Nothing."

Naruto stopped dead in his tracks and pulled a face. "Oh yeah." The plan was for Konohmaru and Udon to lure them in with rumors that 'the boss' was finally going to show his face. And he was going to do it after passing out free candy (which was a total lie, but they didn't need to know that). Of course, the kids came.

In the interim, Naruto was supposed to sit and wait. Udon and Konohamaru would stall them, building the tension so they wouldn't want to leave. That should give them until nightfall.

Lee, meanwhile, would-

The phone rang and Gaara was absurdly quick to pick it up. "Yes?"

"I am still quite alive, Gaara-kun," Lee answered. "I am just outside of town. It looks deserted."

"The adults must be in the school. The kids are here."

"There are still some of the smaller children around. They are all very cute in their little warrior outfits."

Gaara sighed through his nose. He was in a very, very bad mood. "You have to get one to notice you. Try to speak before they tie you up. You remember what to say?"

"Um…yes."

"_Do you_?"

"I just said yes!" Lee raised his voice. "Why do you never trust me?"

"Just hurry up. And hide the cell phone well. Don't let them take it."

"I know. I will see you soon. I love y-" Gaara snapped the phone closed.

…_Bushy-Brows…_

"I love y-" Lee heard the click as the line went dead. He blinked owlishly and pulled the phone from his ear to read, "Call ended," just before the screen went blank. His stomach churned. Lee reasoned that Gaara must be really, really concerned about Lee's 'mission' if he's so irritable as that. And Gaara was the smart one. Perhaps, Lee, too, should be worried.

He took a deep breath and recalled Gai-sensei's wise, profound words to give him strength, _"This is my favorite legwarmer because I stitched a kitten on the inside. Don't tell anyone!"_

Wait... wait...

"_Hard work is worthless for those that don't believe in themselves!" _

Yeah, that one!

A fire grew in Lee's eyes and he clenched a fist. Right! He knew he could do it!

Now he would _act_.

Stepping away from the pile of stones he was hiding behind, Lee stumbled as though about to collapse. He did an excellent job of looking exhausted. Thank God for all those drama classes he took!

Lee glanced in the direction of one little girl that had been trying to tie her shoe (she wasn't succeeding), a tongue poking out of her lips. Her eyes lifted to him and she froze for a moment. Then she ran away.

Lee wasn't sure where she went, but it wasn't the reaction he'd been expecting. He stopped walking and stood at a loss. Then he heard footsteps urgently padding back.

The girl returned with a little boy that was even shorter than she was. His hands were trembling around a spear. They both inched forward and pointed the end at Lee. Between the spear and Lee, though, was still a good ten feet. Lee's heart broke for them. Obviously, the younger kids didn't have the same confidence as the older ones.

Lee fell to his knees, and then to his hands, making himself as small and weak looking as possible.

"I am sorry for trying to run away." He said, and he watched the girl flinch as he started to speak. "I was not thinking. Can you ever forgive me?"

The boy's brow wrinkled, "U-um…"

The girl added, "Huh?"

"I tried to get away. But I was not thinking. You see, I only wanted to find my little brother." Lee hated lying, but if it was for the good of these kids, than by God, he would do it! "I miss him very much, and I am sure he is scared. I just wanted to know if he is okay. I have not seen him since all of this started."

"Um. W-what's his name?"

The girl elbowed the kid in the gut. "Ichigo said not to talk to them!" He bit his lip and nodded, a grimace on his face. He pointed the spear more firmly.

"We h-have to take you in, kay?"

Lee nodded. "Of course. But…Alas!" He slapped the back of his hand to his forehead. "I just miss him so much! OH, how I WISH I could just talk to him! He could never fall asleep until our mother tucked him in at night." He saw the girl wince and he knew he had her.

"And our father used to play catch with him EVERY Sunday." The boy lowered his spear a fraction of an inch, and his eyes widened. Lee inwardly cheered his success.

"I know he probably misses them dearly. I certainly do. Almost as much as I miss HIM. I miss having races with him and, um, watching cartoons with him-! And…and eating pure syrup together, yeah…and doing brother-y type things, you know. Do either of you have siblings?"

"Yeah." The girl spoke this time, breaking the rule that she'd only just reinforced. "Kaigo." She sniffled a little. "I miss eating syrup with him, too."

"My big sister's still around, 'cause she's ten. She went to go see the boss." The boy sneered a little. "She wouldn't let me go. Says I'm too little. They all pick on us 'cause we're younger."

Lee's eyes grew sad. "I am very sorry to hear that. I am sure you both love each other though. When she gets too old, and you have to lock her up, won't you miss her?" He noticed the boys eyes light up and he realized that that was the wrong thing to say. "Or-or will she just continue to rule over you?"

"What?"

"She will always be older than you-and- and bigger! Who is to say that she, and the others, will not put up a fight? She will not want to be locked up when she gets older. Chances are, all of the big kids will only continue to rule over you even after they become teenagers. There will be no one to stop them!"

Both the girl and the boy chorused, "That's not fair!"

Lee nodded. "Yes, I know. And I bet you want things to go back to the way things were, yes? I want to see my little brother and my parents playing together again. I want to be able to live the way we were, when little kids and big kids were equal, and only our parents could say who was in charge." He paused and hung his head. "Of course, I know this cannot happen."

There was a long moment of silence.

"Yeah…" The boy said. "Now…um…come on. I have to lock you up. What room were you in?"

Lee stood up and started to walk. "Uh…the empty one?"

"Oh yeah."

Lee couldn't believe that worked.

Creshto: Um. Yeah. My bad with the whole no-updating-for-a-while thing. My computer had a nasty virus and, uh, yeah... THANK YOU TO MY FIVE REVIEWERS! You've made me very happy. :3


	4. Chapter 2 Part 2

_Creshto: The following chapter is a complete and utter fail. You have been warned. I hate it like I've never hated anything before. I PROMISE the next one will be better! It will! I promise! Maybe!_

_Now, in response to____**ByakuganHyuuga360**__'s_ _review: Yes. Yes, Lee and Gaara are...dating. I'm sorry if this bothers you! It's my favorite pairing, you see. I'm sorry! There won't be any hardcore smex or anything, but the main pairing is LeeXGaara. DX Can I make it up to you by adding your favorite pairing for any of the rookie 9? I want to make you happy! I live to serve. _

_Aaaaand...now onto the fail :3_

…_With the others- wherein things start to go awry…_

"Well, where is he?"

"Yeah! We've been waiting for hours!"

"Whadda yah mean, 'hours'? It's been fifteen minutes!" Konohamaru was getting irritable, as were the sixty annoying brats mucking up the air in front of the house with their various…kid smells. Tensions were high. Snot was hittin' the fan. Udon leaned over and cupped a hand one side of his mouth.

"Uh, Konohamaru? Naruto-nii-san says he needs more time."

"How long does he expect me to keep this up?"

Udon sniffled. "Another thirty minutes at least."

"Thirty minutes!" Konohmaru screeched, and the pack of wild kids gathered at the front of the porch heard well enough.

"Thirty minutes? Oh, hell nah! I left my kid sister in charge! She's freaking six! There's no way she'll keep things in order for that long! I'm outta here!" With a collaborative crowd-like groan, everyone started turning to go. Konohamaru was fell face-first into panic.

"Crap! Go tell boss to get out here _now_! There's no more waiting!"

"But-"

"Go, Udon!"

Konohamaru made a last ditch effort to bring them back, but a great number of them were already pretty far away. "Wait! He's coming out! He was just on the crapper after drinking some bad milk! The boss said he has a new idea to fix our fruit roll-up production!"

One girl with some overly-thick dreadlocks toward the front of the crowd immediately turned back around. "Fruit roll-up's?"

"Yeah!"

She held an arm up, halting everyone behind it. "I think this is worth hearing."

Konohamaru released a very heavy breath. "Good. Now stay for a minute. I'll go get him." He turned and ran, sweat trickling down the side of his face, into the hut. Inside, Udon and Moegi were having a fight (Moegi was yelling, Udon taking the brunt of it), while Gaara glared at an inanimate object and Naruto chewed his nails.

"What the hell's going on!"

All eyes turned on him.

"I'm losing them out there and none of you are helping!" Konohamaru exploded.

Gaara was feeling very strange, very angry, and very uncomfortable since Naruto spoke to him. He was in no mood for any of this.

Because nothing Naruto said could have been true. If he had really had such a childhood, he wouldn't be so normal and trusting and _friendly_. Gaara knew. He _knew_.

Gaara didn't realize that while he was thinking all of this through, he began glaring pointy objects at Naruto's head. Nor did he notice Moegi's neon pink cell phone slowly breaking in his iron grip.

Konohamaru, meanwhile, was flippin' shit.

"_Hellooo_?" He flailed. "Come on guys, don't do this to me!"

"All right, all right, Konohamaru! I'm coming!" Naruto stood up. Gaara finally snapped out of his daze. "This isn't gonna end well." Naruto scratched his chin with a defeated sigh. "I'm ready, I think. Go out and introduce me. And you'd better make it epic! This might be the last thing I ever do!" He stood up, easily towering over Konohamaru, "Let's git 'er done."

Konohamaru slumped in obvious relief. He looked up into Naruto's penetrating blue eyes with such respect, and such awe. "Thanks for doing this…nii-san."

"It's for the good of the public, Konohamaru. A future Hokage has to be self-sacrificing."

Gaara stared at Naruto for a long time, blinking slowly. While he could never rival Lee, let alone that busy-body Gai, when it came to melodrama, Naruto was still damn good at it. Hands on his hips, sucking in his gut and puffing out his chest, he pointed to the door.

"Now go! Udon, Moegi, you too! Don't forget the dry ice!"

"Yes, boss!"

"Where the hell did you get dry ice?" Gaara asked, but no one answered.

The Konohamaru corps. marched out, spirits soaring high.

Upon their exit, Naruto flopped to the floor like a dead fish. "I'm gonna DIE. Gaara-kun, I want you to remember me as I am: awesome and devilishly handsome!"

"…Whatever."

"Well… here goes nothin'." Naruto pulled on a cloak that he dug out of a pile of laundry on the floor, put up the hood and turned for the window. Gaara's eyes narrowed.

"What are you doing?" He snapped.

"Relax! I have a plan! I'm gonna go up on the roof. Pray for me, man!" Naruto was hanging on the window pane from the outside, one foot balanced on a gnarled tree branch and another slung onto the roof. "I'll keep 'em busy! Go to Bushy-Brows as soon as I lead 'em away, got it? Be quick or die, dattebayo!"

Gaara wondered if all of this was really as dangerous as they were making out to be. They were fighting pre-teens, after all. But then he remembered Barney… and Gaara nearly shuddered.

"And now, 'cause none of us wanna wait any longer for his slow ass: here he is, the advice man himself!" Naruto and Gaara could hear Konohamaru's shrill voice and a bunch of the kids starting to whoop and holler.

"That's my cue." Naruto sighed. "Good luck, buddy."

Gaara nodded. "You too." If Naruto failed, then they were all fucked.

This is why he never slept. His subconscious always produced the most unpleasantly bizarre dreams. So far, all that was missing was the blood, the tiny exploding sculptures, the flying sand…and the waffles.

He silently approached the front window and peeled the curtain back. Through the dirty glass he could make out Konohamaru gesturing wildly. A light fog was wafting out of a bucket and Gaara was forced to wonder, again, where they managed to come across dry ice on such short notice. He hated that dreams lacked logic. The roof creaked and moaned under Naruto's weight.

He watched nearly every head turn up. Eyes went wide and mouths fell open. Konohamaru and his two friends rushed off of the deck to see what the others were seeing.

Gaara expected an uproar, but for an entire thirty seconds, there was nothing but silence.

Silence.

Silence…

"_I've been to the year three thousand! Not much has changed, but they lived underwater! And you're-!"_Gaara nearly had a heart attack. He cursed, struggling to dig the goddamn cell phone from his pocket so it would stop screeching that shitty excuse for a ringtone.

The Moegi girl has cemented her place on Gaara's assassination list.

He answered the phone. "_What_?"

"I am in the holding cell, Gaara-kun." Lee was whispering on the other end. "I convinced the children to stage a revolt, so they are not in the school, but they locked me up before they left. You must come now."

Gaara clenched his teeth in annoyance. "I'm-"

"_That's not the boss!" _

"_Adult!" _

"_Get the liar!" _

Gaara looked out the window and saw a mob advancing on the house. He quickly stepped away and into the other room. "Lee, I'll call you when I get to the town."

"B-but wait-!"

He snapped the phone shut and ducked. Naruto was running across the roof, shouting, raining chunks of dust and shit from the ceiling onto the floor from the pressure of his footsteps. Gaara crouched under the windowsill Naruto climbed from earlier, listening as Konohamaru and his friends charged passed next, also screaming at the top of their lungs. The mob was hot on their heels.

Gaara climbed out the second he saw the coast was clear. He tried to call Lee again as he neared town…but got no answer.

… : … : …

Gaara had promised to call as soon as he got into town. Lee wasn't sure he had that kind of time.

He'd thought all the kids had left, but from what Lee could hear, someone was checking the rooms. Whoever it was sounded fairly far from him at the moment, but he was having great difficulty picking the lock, and if he didn't get out of there soon, he'd have a _very serious problem! _He stared pointedly at the phone in his hand, willing it to ring.

Unfortunately, luck was not on his side.

The door swung open from the outside. His heart beat his chest like a fist. His eyes darted left, right, and finally…down to a little blonde girl looking up at him with big, beautiful, bright blue eyes. "Hello."

Lee slipped the phone away behind his back and he waved awkwardly. "Hi."

"Um." She put a hand to her lip and chewed it. "Um, who are you?"

"I am…Lee!"

"I don't remember you."

"That is because I was previously…invisible," Lee said. This girl seemed so young and innocent, so impressionable and sweet. He just wanted to scoop her up and give her a bear hug! But he didn't.

"Oh. Invisible," She said, as though that were obvious. Lee nodded dumbly.

"Yes."

"Mmm." She was biting on her fingers so cutely, Lee was pretty sure she was the most adorable little girl _ever_.

"And what is your name, pretty girl?" Lee asked. Maybe he could get her to help!

"Lolita."

"That is a beautiful name. It sounds foreign."

"Um. Can I come in?"

"Of course!" Lee let her pass. He was surprised when she shut the door behind her, but it didn't worry him because she was so darn precious!

"Thank you." She sat on the end of Lee's bed and pat the spot next to her with the hand she wasn't biting. Lee smiled and sat down. "Lee-kun?"

"Yes, Lolita-chan?" He asked, grinning because the way she said his name was just _too cute_ for words!

"I don't remember you," she said, as she had earlier. Lee was just about to remind her of the 'invisibility' thing, but suddenly he didn't have the air capacity for words. The wind was knocked clean from his lungs. Flat on his back, pinned to the bed by surprisingly strong little hands, he gaped like a fish. "That's not good for you."

"H-huh?" Lee wasn't exactly sure what was happening. Lolita pulled out some needles. Eight needles between each finger. Lee's eyes widened.

"I don't like meeting new people."

That's when Lee wondered if this little girl was actually a little girl and not the _spawn of freaking Satan_! Holy Youth, she was freaking him out. He was so shocked that he almost didn't move when he had the chance.

Before she could do anything with those needles, Lee made a grab for both of her wrists and held them tight. "Oww!" She squealed. "You're hurting me!"

Lee gasped and immediately loosened his grip.

Then she wrenched her hands away and used those needles to pin his shirt sleeves to the bed. Very firmly. Much too firmly! "Ugh!" Lee struggled to get out of it. "What did you just do?"

"Those are my special weapons," she said with a charming little giggle. "Sissy gave them to me! They have hooks at the end so you can't slip out!"

Lee was…mildly impressed. "Wow."

"Yep! Pretty cool, huh?"

Lee nodded. "Now…ah…can you let me up?"

"Stupid!" She bitch-slapped him. "Stay here and rot! I'll come back for you. And trust me, you won't like it when I do!" She laughed demonically, her green eyes and little button nose shadowed by darkness. Lee whimpered involuntarily.

Now, Lee was unsure how to feel about that girl just then. On one hand, she was adorable. On the other hand, she wasprobably the devil. Quite the brainteaser.

The door slammed behind her. Lightning clapped as she cackled away. Lee decided that, no, he did not like her. She was _much_ too evil. Even if she was cute as a doll.

The phone vibrated in his pocket. He jumped and shuddered. He'd almost forgotten about his mission! And Gaara! Ohhh, Gaara would _not_ be pleased with him! Lee tried to move his arms, but the hooks at the end of the needles were holding stead-fast in the bed.

He had an idea though. You see, Lee liked to exercise. A lot. He did tai-chi, yoga, ran track, and played soccer like his life depended on it. So, as you can perversely imagine, he was quite flexible. And Lolita had only used eight needles. That only pinned down his sleeves. His legs were free to move in whatever way he wished.

Sadly though, when he tried to kick the needles free of the bed…well, he couldn't do it. Even if he could reach them, they were too securely in there. He groaned.

Meanwhile, Gaara was having a mild heart-attack.

Not literally, of course. That would be terrible. But he really was starting to panic. And when Gaara got panicky, people mysteriously disappeared.

Without any concern for his own well-being, he marched straight over to the damned school. Outside its doors, he yanked the phone from his pocket and hit speed dial without looking.

In his room, Lee was still pinned to the bed. The phone in his pocket started vibrating again and made him flinch. "Drat!" He had to do something, and fast, because he knew it was Gaara calling and he didn't want to worry him.

Easy…! Easy…! There! He managed to nudge the phone out with his shoe! He was having much more difficulty, however, getting it open.

He kicked it as close to his hand as he could. His fingers stretched… He got it! But it was miles from his face. "Hello?" Lee yelled.

Gaara strained to hear. "Lee?" His voice was very far away.

"Gaara-kun! Is that you?" Lee continued to yell.

"I'm at the school."

Lee could barely make out any words. "You are covered in drool?"

"I'm at the _school_," Gaara repeated louder.

"Okay! I would love to help you in, but I am incapacitated at the moment! Give me just a moment! I am trying-!"

"You're what?" Had he heard correctly? "Where are you?"

"No thanks! I am not hungry!"

"No, Lee," Gaara growled. "Where ARE you?"

"OH. Room 266!"

Lee was trying to yank his arm free. The material of his shirt tore, but he was still trapped. He winced and hoped Naruto would not get mad at for him ripping his clothes. He tugged it again and gasped as the phone tumbled off the bed. It flipped closed.

Gaara, on the other end, heard the line go dead. He cursed, picked up a rock and broke the glass of the nearest window. It set off an alarm.

Lee flinched. An alarm was whooping overhead and hurting his ears. One last time, he wrenched up his arms. He came free with a very loud, _Riiiip_! His sleeves were done for. He made a break for the door-

It opened before he even touched the knob.

"Gaara-kun!"

"You hung up on me."

Lee pointed somewhere in Gaara's general direction and gaped, horrified. Gaara raised an invisible eyebrow. He realized he probably looked pissed, but only mildly more so than usual. It was Lee's own fault for hanging up on him- he knew Gaara didn't like that- "D-demon!" Lee squealed, and Gaara blinked.

Well, naturally, he was rather offended. First Lee hung up on him, and now this? He'd been called a demon many times, but never by Lee-

"Behind you! Look out, Gaara-kun!"

Oh. Gaara turned around. And saw nothing.

Then he looked down. And he saw a little girl. "Demon?" he asked her.

"Hi!" She giggled. Gaara could only stare. She was doing some weird thing with her foot like she was trying to drill the tip of it into the floor, but Gaara didn't think she would accomplish much if she didn't press harder. Her index finger was hanging out the corner of her mouth. "I'm Lolita. Who're you?"

"Do not get blinded by her cuteness, Gaara-kun! She's evil! Evil!"

Gaara didn't think she was very 'cute' at all. Perhaps that was only because he didn't like children. Or girls. Girl children especially. "...Little person, get in this room."

"You think I'm stupid?" Her demeanor changed. "I'm not getting in there." She pulled out a paddle. "But you are." That girl must not be very bright. Hell itself would freeze over before Gaara let any little girl paddle him. He put one hand on her head and grabbed the paddle with the other. "H-hey!"

Lee looked like he was just about to drop-kick the little blonde into orbit, when for the second time, he pointed in alarm. "Spider!"

Gaara looked down at his hand. His eyes widened. Off of the paddle, a spider crawled up his wrist.

The demon cackled and, when he was distracted, struck Gaara in the back of the knee. His leg gave out.

Lee came rushing over. He literally tackled the little girl to the ground. Perhaps such a reaction was a little extreme, but she _obviously_ wasn't human, so Lee felt justified. Gaara flicked off the spider, got up, and stepped on it. She was clever. He had to give her that. But now he wanted to kill her. There was a reason he didn't like kids.

Lee dragged the little girl by her ankles into the middle of the room. Fast as he could, he sprinted out and Gaara slammed the door after him. He locked it. Tiny fists pounded on the other side. "Yosh! Teamwork!" Lee cheered. He threw up his hand, presumably for a high-five, but Gaara only glared. Lee's smile faltered.

"I'm still mad at you for hanging up on me. And for not answering the phone the first time I called."

Lee's hand fell. "But…I was pinned to a bed!"

"We'll talk about it later."

"But I was _pinned_ to a _bed_!"

"We'll talk about it later." Gaara's tone suggested very heavily that nothing more should be said on that subject, so Lee gave a defiant 'hmph!'. Gaara snatched Lee's hand none-too-gently and started dragging him to the next room across the hall. He kicked clean through the wood, reached a hand in and unlocked it.

"Oh, dear God!" Someone cried. A man. Lee and Gaara leaned in and saw him clinging to his bed. "Who are you?"

"Get out." Gaara said, and left it at that. He moved to the next door. Lee stayed behind and tried to urge the man from the room. Gaara kicked in door after door without waiting to answer any more questions. He wasn't in a very sociable mood. By the time he had finished with that hallway, there was a rather large gathering of adults and teenagers at his back. Lee was trying to calm them all down and describe what was happening. Behind his back, a small child peeked around a corner, followed by several others.

"M-mommy?"

One woman turned. "…Chimaru?"

"Mommy!"

"Aww!" Lee melted into a big green puddle of goo. The little youth with messy face-paint curved the corner and leapt into his mother's arms. It was so sweet! A reunion of love and passion and tears that tugged Lee's heart strings like nothing else. She hugged him and spun him around and oh-! That other kid found his mother, too! How-

"Lee. Come. Now." Gaara took his ear and pulled him down another hall. "We have no time."

"Ow. Ow. Ow." Lee, and the crowd of escapee prisoners, stuck close to Gaara's heels. The alarm was still wailing.

The parents were beginning to mutter. "Where are all the other kids?"

"Our friend Naruto-kun is distracting them for us." Lee said around a grunt of pain. Gaara was still pulling him by his ear. "I am not sure where the younger ones are. They were just outside earlier."

"They're waiting for the big kids at the gate," answered Chimaru, the boy in his mother's arms. "We're rebels now! 'Cos they're mean."

"Oh, Chimaru." His mother snuggled him. "How I've missed you."

"Aww-! Oof!" Gaara elbowed him because he'd had enough of Lee's antics. He did not let go of his ear. Lee coughed and wheezed. "That hurt!"

"How many more of you are there?" Gaara addressed everyone.

"Well over three dozen, I think. This way." One man took over and led the gang down a different hall, most likely expecting Gaara and Lee to follow. Gaara, however, stayed put. He eyed the retreating group, then turned to the door.

"Good. You take care of them. We have to go."

"Where?" The mother asked, stopping short.

"We have to save our…friend."

Friend! Lee's eyes lit up like fireworks. "Oh, Gaara-kun, that is so youthful of you to- Oof! Ugh, Gaara-kun, stop that!"

"I suggest you prepare yourselves for the return of your children," Gaara addressed the adults again. "And go release the kids in the prison."

"Yes, of course," said a parent.

A teenager punched his hand. "We'll take care of those brats when they get back." Lee did not envy those kids.

"Thank you!" The parents called, waving gratefully as Gaara dragged Lee away. It was all very cliché and picturesque. Outside, the air was full of static. It was uncomfortable- the barometric pressure was enough to give them headaches. The sky was turning white. Lee was staring at Gaara between intervals of scanning the area for kids with spears.

"…Gaara-kun?"

Gaara didn't even look.

"Gaara-kun, talk to me now while we have this chance! Why are you so mad?" Lee asked. His ear was really starting to smart. There was something more on Gaara's face than anger. This wasn't just about Lee hanging up on him. "Did I do something stupid and insulting that I do not remember?" That, sadly, happens more often than it should.

Gaara didn't answer. He did, though, release Lee's ear.

"Gaara-kun…" Lee cooed, standing straight again. "You can talk to me…What happened?"

For the second time, Lee was met with silence. He absolutely hated that Gaara ignored him like that. But sometimes, Lee reasoned, he needed the time to think things out on his own. All Lee could do was reassure Gaara that he was there. As they walked, he slung an arm over Gaara's shoulder and snuggled him to his chest. Gaara didn't react.

"So, where do we find Naruto?"

"HEEELP!"

Well, that answered that question.

Lee and Gaara were ripped apart as Naruto shot out of the brush lining the road. He grabbed fistful's of their shirts. He forced them to run. Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon were right behind, running, screaming, and gasping for air. They were still being chased by that mob.

And it was starting to snow.

…Again.

"What. Do. We. Do. Now?" Naruto panted. Lee and Gaara shared a look.

"We don't know!" Lee screeched. Oh dear God. They were going to be ripped apart by a mob of prepubescent children!

The snow was turning to hail.

Lee gasped and pointed at the swirling, darkening, ominous black cloud building over a spot in the forest. "Look!"

"Portal." Gaara muttered. The others deduced the same.

"That's it, boss!" Konohamaru was out of breath. "You're going home!"

"It was cool being your boss, brat! I'll," Naruto swallowed freezing dry air, "I'll really miss you!"

"Me too, boss!" They bumped fists as they ran.

"You're in charge now! Become Hokage of your universe!"

"I will! Faster than you!"

"Oh. Hell. Nah!"

"Just kidding!" Konohamaru said. "Udon, Moegi! This is our cue!"

"Right!"

"Goodbye, kids!" Lee yelled as they took off in the other direction. Splitting up confused the mob. While a few of them branched off to followed the Konohamaru corps., most scrambled to keep up with Naruto, Lee, and Gaara.

Naruto led them into the woods. Hail and wind and snow was slapping them in the face. It was blocking their eyes. It was freezing their lungs. They dodged around trees and tried to lose their pursuers amidst nature's wrath. It was working, they were falling behind. Even so, Gaara could still hear them chanting and yelling. They hadn't lost anyone yet.

"How the hell is this gonna work?" Naruto cried. Lee had been wondering the same thing. "Is it just gonna suck us up or something? What if it's not even the portal? What if it's just a storm? I don't want to die this way!"

"Let us just hope that we will not! This is our only hope!"

Gaara was growing tired and out of breath. Forehead wrinkled thoughtfully, his running started to slow.

"G-Gaara-kun, what are you doing? They will catch up!"

But Gaara just slowed even more. Actually, the more he thought about it, the more ridiculous it seemed to run… "If I'm caught and killed, the shock will likely wake me up anyway. There's no reason to run. I've done what I needed to do."

"Gaara, seriously! You're not sleeping! _Come on_!"

Gaara simply stopped and waited.

"Jesus, man-!" Naruto tried again, but his words caught dead in his throat. His jaw fell open like a cash register. His eyes bulged out of his head because Lee- _Bushy Brow_s- took Gaara, pressed him against a tree, and kissed him. No, not just kissed him. He _kissed him_- kissed him! Like, with tongue and everything! And Naruto could swear there was _grinding_ involved.

Yes. Yes, as a matter of fact, there was. Gaara did not usually like surprises. But this one was –if nothing else- acceptable.

Lee's tongue was probing around his mouth so expertly that Gaara lost the ability to respond. There was such an interesting contrast between the cold hardness of the tree at his back and the warm hardness of Lee pressed so firmly against his front that it left his mind in a whirl. Fingers were tangled in his hair and Gaara could feel the warmth of Lee's palm against his scalp. There was another one of those hands on the bend of his back, trailing lower, lower. It was sudden. It was passionate. It completely woke Gaara up.

Lee pulled back and so quickly was the heat on Gaara's front replaced by freezing air and snow that it thoroughly shocked his system.

"Oh."

"_Now_ _do you believe us_?" Lee shrieked, frantic.

"Hm." Gaara was dazed. He needed to blink.

Naruto was starting to freak out now. "They're getting closer, guys! I think we should probably _leave!_ NOW!" Lee looked up and clenched his teeth. Yes, in fact, he could hear that mob of kids yelling again. Yelling louder. And the storm was getting bad.

"Come." Gaara took his hand and started to run. Straight toward that huge, black, scary-looking whirlpool of a cloud. The snow ran sideways. Hail fell like rocks. The wind couldn't decide which way it wanted to blow. And at the center of it all, lightning snapped and cracked like a whip.

"We're gonna die, we're gonna die, we're gonna die-" Naruto was having a panic attack. He closed his eyes and thrust himself into the heart of the storm. "We're gonna _diieee_!" There was a flash of light, and suddenly he was gone.

"Naruto-kun!" Lee panicked. "What happened to him!"

"Same thing that's going to happen to us." Gaara dragged them right into the monsters mouth. The cloud, the lightning, swallowed them whole.

Lee sucked in a gasp as the hair on his arms stood straight on end. His skin caught fire and froze simultaneously. Gaara felt like he was dying. They were being shaken around like rocks in a tumbler and there was a tight feeling, like being stretched from head to toe. Wind hit their face so strong, their vision went white. Then just as suddenly as they went in, they were spit back out.

In one universe, the storm stopped, reseeded, vanished. In another, Naruto was screaming and flailing and falling from the sky. His face slammed _hard_ into mossy ground.

Lee and Gaara dropped next. Gaara hit the ground and rolled into a shaky crouch. Lee landed in a heap. He scrambled up, hunched over and threw up, stomach acid burning his esophagus. Gagging gave him vertigo as he continued to retch even when there was nothing left to come up. "Oooh..."

Gaara was quick to get up and look around. What he saw did not please him. His lips curved down. Naruto, half way across the clearing, pushed himself to his full height and stumbled forward a little, arms out like the wings of a plane. He took a breath, stood straight, and rubbed his eyes. Sadly, when he opened them again, the image he'd been seeing didn't go away.

This wasn't good. This wasn't…"What…the fuck."

They were in a different universe, alright. But it certainly wasn't theirs.

_Creshto: Don't give up on me yet! I'm gonna salvage this story! _

_Next Chapter will include the Ino-Shika-Cho ! _


	5. Chapter 3 Part 1

Creshto: Hrm. Um. Woo, my bad. I've got two dozen excuses for this pathetically late chapter! Some of them involve homework! Others involve cats.

Chapter 3:

"Where the _hell_ are we now?" Naruto spat. There were more than two universes? The hell! He cringed and groaned and cursed up at the sky. Well, why the hell not, then? If there was more than one universe, then sure, why not have three? Or four! Or a thousand! What the hell! Let's have a million! Sonuvabitch.

Gaara looked up and saw trees that were much too tall to logically exist. He looked down and saw bright pink phosphorescent dirt beneath his feet.

"Urk-!" Lee was still losing his lunch.

Gaara closed his eyes and frowned.

Lee tired to stand up. His limbs were shaking too violently, though, and he fell right back down, tossing his cookies for the third consecutive time. He had a migraine, his eyes hurt, and he simply wanted to die. Gaara sighed and came to crouch at his side. He pat Lee's back.

Naruto walked over next. "Bushy-Brows, are you okay?"

Lee moaned.

"Does he look okay?"

Naruto's jaw clicked shut. His lips pressed into a firm line. "I was just askin'…" He huffed. "So…Um." He fished for a different subject, "You guys are gay? Like man on man action gay? Together?" Gaara glared. "Right, right, sorry; this is not the time- I get it… Still weird though."

"Go look for some people," Gaara snapped. "And be quick about it."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm doin' it. Could be a little less rude about it. Hope you feel better, Bushy-Brows."

"Thanks," Lee grumbled. "Be careful, Naruto-kun. Do not get lost."

"I ain't gonna get lost!" Naruto waved him off, too. "I'll be back in twenty minutes- tops!"

__Sixty Minutes Later__

"I do not think Naruto is coming back."

"Hm."

"I hope he is okay."

Gaara frowned. He hated to admit that he was getting a twisty, wormy feeling in his gut. The hell did Naruto _go_? It was dusk. There were strange bugs flying around. He had no way of knowing if they were poisonous or not and Lee was still sprawled out in the dirt, breathing heavily and sweating bullets. Gaara couldn't help him. Every few minutes, he put his hand on Lee's forehead. He had a steady fever.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"I cannot throw up anymore if I tried," Lee smiled humorlessly. "I do not know what happened. I feel seasick, but I guess one would refer to this more as…dimension-sick…or something." Gaara nodded. Lee tried to nod in return. His head was pillowed in Gaara's lap, so the motion was difficult. "We should write a book about our adventures when all of this ends."

"If."

"_When_," Lee corrected. Gaara reframed from starting an argument. Lee was in no condition to get all worked up. Truth was, however, that Gaara was fairly sure they would die. Naruto had already disappeared. He was probably dead. Gaara hoped he wasn't dead…

He ran his hand over Lee's damp hair. "Perhaps you've gotten ill because of the sudden change in temperature. It gave me a headache as well."

"Hm…could be." Lee was falling asleep. Gaara was grateful. He didn't much feel like talking anymore.

He looked up. The trees were blocking the sun, but it was about sunset anyway. His eyes twitched at the sight of some animal skirting down from the canopy and onto the floor. He couldn't make out what it was. He pulled Lee closer…

It wasn't long before the lull of bugs chirping slipped him into a meditative state. He immediately dragged himself out of it. But he was exhausted. His psyche was doing strange things. It was making him paranoid.

He heard a twig snap. He clutched Lee and snapped awake. His eyes narrowed.

"Finally!"

Gaara twitched at the sudden voice.

"I found you guys! Did you get up and move while I was gone, 'cause I swear I circled the place we started out at almost thirty times before-"

It was Naruto. Gaara's muscles relaxed exponentially. "Be quiet," he said, his words lacking their usual bite. "Lee is sleeping."

"Oh," Naruto winced. "Sorry. My bad." He sat down and sunk contently into the dirt with his back pressed up against the tree. "Anyway, I found some people."

Gaara perked. "People?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "But there's no way in hell we'll make it back to them without sunlight."

Gaara couldn't argue with that. Logically, it would be safer to rest until morning before foolishly wandering deeper into the woods. He sat back, looking around once more, before settling down for the night. He felt comforted with Lee in his lap, and Naruto at his side.

"First thing in the morning, you will lead us back to them."

"Yeah, whatever…" Naruto was falling asleep now, too.

Gaara wondered if he was the only one concerned that they might die.

… : … : …

Lee felt ten thousand times better when he woke up again. He was a little dizzy, sticky with drying sweat, and his head was pounding, but he didn't feel nauseous, and that was just…just great.

He breathed out happily and let his hands slip over his pillow, which was pleasantly warm. Ah, it was Gaara, wasn't it? He fell asleep on Gaara. That made things even _nicer_. With a devious smirk, Lee's fingers trailed toward a firm, familiar backside.

His smile widened as he heard a faint sigh. Something quiet and tired, like his pillow was coming out of a daze. He squeezed a little harder and-

"AAAUGH!"

Lee's eyes snapped open as his head hit the dirt. Naruto was tripping over himself with his hands over his ass.

"Rape! Rape! Bushy-brow was molesting me!"

Lee's stomach fell so far, so quick, it exploded from the pressure. "Oh my! Oh my God! You're not Gaara-kun- _I thought you were Gaara-kun_!"

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? The first time I get to second base, and it's with a fucking _dude_!"

Lee was mildly offended. "What did you do with Gaara-kun?"

"He's right there, you mega pervert!"

"I am NOT-" Lee's words caught dead in his throat as he turned to see Gaara _glaring daggers_ at him. So deadly. Lee stumbled back and winced, his head pounding. "I swear! I thought he was you!" Gaara turned on Naruto and immediately pinned him to a tree by the throat.

Naruto choked and clawed at Gaara's fingers. Gaara snarled.

"Ckk-!" Naruto struggled to breath. His voice came out sounding strangled and guttural. "He was the one who groped _me_!"

"I did not _mean_ to!" Lee yelled helplessly. Naruto collapsed into a heap as Gaara dropped him. He turned on Lee. "Gaara-kun, I am sorry! I am sorry!"

"Don't touch him again," Gaara threatened. "Don't go near him. Don't _look_ at him."

"What the _hell_!" Naruto coughed and wheezed. "Why was _I_ the one pinned to the tree?"

"I am sorry!"

Gaara grabbed the back of Lee's head and forced him to his mouth. Hard. And what followed was a very angry, very passionate making-out. He didn't let up on the pressure. Their tongues warred and their teeth clicked. He bit Lee's lip and it started to bleed. When he pulled back, order was restored.

Naruto was stunned wordless, the left side of his body twitching a little. Lee's legs were rubber.

"Ah…" Lee said. That had been… _unexpected_.

Hm…Yes.

Gaara looked back at the blonde, who instantly flinched. It was obvious by the look of him that Gaara was stressed to the breaking point. Anything could set him off now. "Take us to those people."

"Ah, w-what? People…" Naruto's brain was mud. "People! Right, right. Let's go- _No Bushy-Brows_, don'tlookatme!"

Lee started, blinked, and immediately covered his eyes to spare himself and Naruto from Gaara's wrath.

"Hm," Gaara hummed approvingly. His body-language was still heavily guarded, distrustful, suspicious, _tense_. He placed himself between Naruto and Lee like a human wall. They walked in a straight line.

What a morning this had turned out to be. Naruto's brain was fuzzy, and his stomach couldn't decide if it wanted to throw up or kill itself. The clearing they slept in was now in silent disarray, the wildlife scared away. Gaara was still seething, but he was doing it quietly. Lee was tense…and…just tense. A little giddy. Mostly tense.

"So…ah," he started uncertainly, "perhaps this is too soon to ask. When am I going to be able to acknowledge…that person again?" Gaara growled, and Lee buttoned his lips. Not for quite some time apparently. "Fine, fine."

Up ahead, Naruto was muttering something under his breath.

"Pretty sure this is the way… Maybe…That way? Bushy-brow's fault. Those leaves look familiar. But so do those- _hmm_, dattebayo."

…It was thirty minutes later that Gaara started grinding his teeth. They'd wandered in a circle. The sound of leaves crunching under Naruto's heavy footfall, and Lee's quiet humming were grating on his nerves like nothing else. His stomach was making sounds.

And the air was too humid. Gaara was hungry and tired and itchy and in a very, very bad mood. He growled, "Naruto…"

"Uh. Yeah?"

"Where are we?"

"Right here!"

"Have a little faith," Lee started, but Gaara turned on him so fast, all other words literally shriveled up and died before touching his lips. Lee averted his eyes irately.

Also, he was feeling rather ill again and that wasn't good for anyone.

Naruto's self-confidence reassured Gaara for only a minute. Because exactly sixty seconds later, they pushed through some brush and found themselves right back where they started- right back in the clearing. Naruto seemed to freeze, back stiff as a rod. "Ah, heh heh! Must've made a wrong turn somewhere!" Awkwardly scratching his neck, he turned around…and shrunk. The look Gaara was giving him could've melted stone.

"Er. That is okay! Right, Gaara-kun? We can just try again!"

Lee's optimism was lost on the wind.

"Naruto," Gaara snarled. He took one step forward- Naruto one step back- when suddenly he stopped dead. His head snapped quickly to one side, eyes narrowing. He glared through the trees and the brush at something neither Naruto nor Lee could see, and just as Lee was coming to the conclusion that his boyfriend had finally cracked his nut, an arrow- a freaking arrow!- came whizzing past his ear. Three black hairs drifted slowly from his head.

Next thing they knew, they were surrounded. Women. Dozens of women dropped from the canopies, pointing arrows, spears, daggers, swords, bludgeons-!

You would think they would've reacted a little differently. But Lee, Gaara, and Naruto had been through this procedure before. They instinctively moved back to back, eyeing their assailants nervously- in Gaara's case, glaring-, but with an air of having been there and done that.

"This is the hottest mob I've ever seen," Naruto mumbled. One woman, scantily clad in strategically placed cloth, approached slowly, ominously.

"Why you trespass our land?"

"Wha-?"

"Answer question!"

"Answer-! I question your grammar!"

"We are lost!" Lee, beginning to sway on his feet, took Naruto by the shoulder and pulled him away. "Do not kill us, please. We will leave if you like."

There was muttering amongst the crowd. No weapons lowered. "Where you from…? _You from Otoko tribe_?" Her eyes became ice, her sword pointing at them more threateningly.

Naruto put his hands up and waved them. "No! No-no! We're not from any tribe, 'tebayo!"

"Quiet!" She snapped. Lee took a step up.

"Gaara-kun, do not worry. I will protect us."

"Uh, Bushy-Brow?" Naruto asked. Lee was looking paler than before.

"Lee," Gaara turned on him with the coldest sort of look. Lee's insides felt like they were flushed with ice. He almost took a step back. "Shut. Up. Stop treating me like a weakling."

"I only want to keep you safe-"

"You only want to keep me _safe_," Gaara spat back. "I could snap your legs off it pleased me."

Lee's eyes narrowed now, feeling self-protective and frozen. "…_Would _it please you?"

"Not the best time, guys!" Naruto was having a heart attack. The women, smoking hot as they were, were moving in on them. Despite a struggle, he, Gaara, and Lee were quickly being roped together at the ankles and wrists. "Ah! That hurts, dattebayo!"

"Are you okay, Naru-"

"I told you _not to talk to him_!"

Oh, yep. The explosion had begun.

"Woah! You…Gaara-kun, you have _got_ to be kidding me! You may think I am overprotective, but y_ou_ are way too distrustful of me! You cannot tell me who I can and cannot talk to!"

"You _like_ him," Gaara seethed through his teeth, the betrayal audible in his voice.

"I do _not-_!"

Naruto huffed. "Well, that's not insulting at all."

"Gaara-kun, you are being ridiculous!" One of the women shoved him and Lee started walking. Gaara and Naruto were yanked into following by the rope around their ankles. "Why do you still not trust me? After two and a half years!"

Naruto made a strangled sound in the back of his throat as someone jabbed him with the butt of a knife, "Aaugh! Guys!"

"Because you're going to learn to hate me!"

"I am not! Not if I tried!"

"You will. You _will_!" The volume of Gaara's voice was being slowly notched up to max. It was wounded. It was distrustful. It was scary defensive.

"Stop _saying_ _that_!"

"Men be quiet!" The biggest women grabbed them both by the front of the shirt and shoved them forward, the momentum of which forced the rope to run taught. Naruto tripped, bringing all three of them down. Lee's jaw slammed into the dirt and his whole body broke into a cold sweat, Gaara fell on his arm at an awkward angle, but it didn't stop the fight.

"W-why do you always say things like th-that? Like you are impossible to love?"

"Why do you never clean up after yourself?"

"Do not change the subject! I hate it when you do that! Answer the question!"

"No."

"Guys!" Naruto snapped, eyes darting from one woman to the next. They were getting angrier, he could tell. And that didn't bode well for any of them.

"For the love of-! Gaara-kun you _know_ I how much I care about you!"

"_Liar_!" Gaara snapped, something about him moving far away. His body became tight and impenetrable. "Liar, liar, liar."

"Do not close up on me! You always do this! It hurts me, too!"

Gaara's head whipped to him in a feral, attacking way. His eyes were wide, pupils contracted into pinpoints so small, Lee could see the yellow copper flecks that only appeared when Gaara relinquished control. "Then let's be done!"

Lee backpedaled. "Wh…what?"

"Done! It's _done_!"

"What is done?" Lee's eyes were wide and wild. "Not…not us."

"Yes! It's done. We're _done_. _Done_!"

"No," Lee laughed a little, but it was completely without humor. "You do not mean that."

"Done."

"No, not done. Stop it!"

Naruto took a club to the head and another woman shrieked, "_Men be quiet_! One word more and you die!"

"Ow!" She clubbed him again, and for the rest of the trip, no one spoke. Lee was in shock, jaw slack, eyes glassy, staring at Gaara who became as closed off and expressionless as a statue. At one point, he finally turned to the side, gagged, and expelled pure stomach acid until one of the women shoved him so hard, he nearly blacked out. But he didn't. No one said anything. They went on moving.

And Naruto, head now sporting two new lumps, was drifting in and out of a painful haze. Why was it always _him_?

… : … : …

Where, um…? Somewhere…They were at some camp thing, inside a tent. Still tied up. Lee was sniffling, but not crying. Not crying. But his eyes were red. He was staring at some spot on the floor where a dead bug lay on its back, legs up and curled. He'd been drifting in and out of consciousness, his eyes feeling like two berries being squeezed for too much juice. Gaara was still gone to the world, rocking slowly forward and back.

Meanwhile Naruto had one wicked headache. Every breath he took made his brain throb. He didn't want to talk. The air was really solemn. He didn't like being there- he didn't like any of this actually. Fighting made him uncomfortable because he didn't like when people got angry, so seeing them this upset was something else entirely. He kept glancing at Lee from the corner of his eyes, waiting for those tears to finally slide out. They didn't though. He didn't like that either.

Naruto had been pissed at Gaara at first. The guy overreacted to poor ol' Bushy-brow! He'd acted snappish and mean all day…But then Naruto thought about that fight again, and how Gaara was so convinced Lee was going to hate him. Gaara was hurting bad, too. So now Naruto just felt like crap for both of them, and that was making his stomach ache just as bad as his head.

Plus they were all probably gonna die via a pack of savage women, but hey. That was neither here nor there.

Night was falling pretty fast. The darkness outside was creeping up with claws outstretched, and inside the tent, the humidity was getting worse. A woman lifted a flap-like door and grinned something savage. She stalked in slowly like a cat on the prowl and stuck her hand under Naruto's chin, who was the only one to look up when she entered. She gave it a rough stroke. "Ik atsuura Makish-hoo," she purred. Naruto was freaked out.

"Say what?"

"You burn, man. You burn for Makish-hoo. You will be good."

"What's a Muckish-hoot, 'tebay-oooo?"

She smiled in a way that made Naruto's stomach twist. The grip on his chin tightened and she drew close to his ear. "Mah-Kish-Who." Her voice gave him Goosebumps.

"Let him go," Lee murmured. Naruto was grateful when she turned her attention off of him now, but Lee didn't look like he could care less when her hand slapped his cheek. And Gaara just continued to rock.

When the woman left the tent, Naruto breathed a heavy sigh of relief. "Dude. The hell was all that about, ne? Crazy bitch! I thought she was gonna try and shove her tongue in my ear!" He winced. "Looked like she got you pretty hard."

Lee smiled only with his lips and nodded his head. "Yeah."

"Hehehe! So what's the plan, eh? I've been waiting for one of you to say something this whole time! How we gettin' out of here?"

"I have no idea…" Lee drifted off, "Perhaps they will let us go."

"Like hell!"

"Then perhaps we will all die very painful deaths," he shrugged. "Either way."

"…Okay, um, you're obviously grieving. I'm just gonna brainstorm by myself a little more. Let me know when you've got your bowl cut back on straight."

"I miss Gai-sensei. He would know what to-"

"He's an imbecile."

Lee flinched so violently one would think he'd been struck. For a second he looked like he was in pain, but then there was nothing but blind fury. "Gaara-kun, I have told you in the past and I will tell you again, do _not to insult my SENSEI_!"

"Geez, Bush-brows, relax!"

"He _knows_!" Lee snapped, and turned away. "…He _knows_."

… : … : …

…Twenty feet from the women's camp, there was a bush. One would not suspect this bush to be anything more than that- a bush- and for all intents and purposes, it was exactly like all the other bushes. It was bright red and orange and covered with sappy, dripping leaves. Exactly like the others…Excluding the three people crouched behind it.

"They're not from the other tribe."

"Striking observation, Ino," came a male voice, and she slapped him hard in the back of the head.

Chouji's ears perked. "Not from the men's tribe? From where then?"

"Same place as us, I'd say."

The big one digested that bit of information for a moment... "We should save them, Shikamaru."

"Ah, Chouji." Shikamaru deflated with a grimace. "I knew you were going to say that. What a drag."

… : … : …

Somehow Naruto got it into his head that singing a tune might lighten the mood. It was one he'd learned from his old mentor. "If you're alone and you need a friend…Someone to make you forget your problems! Whoa-Whoa! This is what I wanna do! Whoa-Whoa! One on one, just me and you! Boom, boom, boom, boom! I want you in my room! Let's spend the night together, from now until forever!"

Lee burst into tears.

It wasn't long after that that Naruto felt almost sick with the urge to crawl into a hole and die. Gaara's eyes were digging into his skull and literally melting his brain. Naruto's singing faded into a quiet whimper. The only sounds left were those of the women outside the tent, surprisingly loud cricket-type-bugs, and Lee's broken, desperate, pathetic sobbing. "Gaara-kun, Iamsorry-donnothateme-ILOVEYOU! Take me baa~aack!"

But that particular noise faded quickly into hiccups, whimpers, and quiet gasps as Gaara didn't respond. Lee's eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks streaked with dry tears. He curled in on himself and resumed staring at the poor dead bug.

Naruto only stared at him with one eyebrow cocked and his jaw swinging in the wind. That had been _embarrassing_. "Dude…" He shook his head. Lee just didn't understand the dynamics of winning someone back. Hysterical outbursts were high on the list of no-no's.

He started to consider tutoring Lee in the ways of seduction, but that thought process didn't last long because 1) he has a very short attention span, 2) he wasn't sure if the same rules applied when used on other dudes, and 3) a woman exploded into the tent. She was large and scary. Her breasts were exposed, but the rest of her was so horrifying that Naruto only stared for, oooh, thirty seconds.

"Time now. You all burn for Makish-hoo."

"Wha-?"

Two other women came in behind her and uncouthly dragged Lee and Gaara by the strings around their torso's. The big lady, however, took Naruto and slung him over her shoulder like a ragdoll. "Ugh-! HEY!"

All the flailing in the world wasn't going to save him now.

It was pitch black and still humid as hell when the women left the tent, but Naruto could make out a glow through the trees after several minutes of walking. A fire, growing taller and wider and more hot with every passing second. A steady thrum of humming was making his eardrums vibrate, and as the three women and their captives passed through a small break of trees, the sound got that much louder.

"_Ootaht, Fostra, Jlik!"_One woman began to chant, and the others followed suit. Soon it became very heavy and very loud and very, very scary. A few of them started breaking into weird tribal dances with bells clapping on their ankles.

Naruto swallowed.

As the beast turned, so, by default, did Naruto. He got a good, pants-wetting look at what he was up against. Lee and Gaara were already being hauled up and strapped to two human-sized planks of wood, hands tied behind their backs. Right in front of the flames. Right there. Close enough that Naruto was sure their backs must have been burning. Lee's chin was dipped to his chest. Naruto could tell by his expression that he was trying not to break down again. His shoulders were shaking. Gaara was staring at him from the corner of his eye.

"Shit. They're just gonna let themselves die!" Naruto whined. "Am I the only one with any will to live around here- OOF!" The man-woman dropped him rather unceremoniously into the tall-backed chair that had been placed between Lee and Gaara. "EH?" He was roughly assaulted by two…rather attractive, busty, _hot-as-fucking-hot-sauce_, young ladies. They strapped his wrists to the arms of the chair. His ankles to its legs. And upon his head, they lowered a hand-woven crown of twigs.

"Oh hoh, what are _your_ names?" He shook his head. "I mean, what the _HELL_?"

The chanting changed into something guttural. And into something focused entirely on _him_. _"Makish-hoo! Akat-sha! Makish-hoo! AKAT-SHA!"_

Naruto's head flipped so fast from the sexy women dancing at him in the crowd, to Gaara, to Lee, that he almost didn't notice Lee stretching the hands bound at his back to the flame.

…What the _fuck_ was his problem? That's gatta hurt like a bitch!

Lee's face was twisted in agony and Naruto sucked a sympathy breath through his teeth. Sweat was sliding down his forehead. He was about to call out for him to cut that the fuck out when he saw the rope flare up.

But his attention was stolen thereafter by the sound of explosions.

Naruto pressed his back into the chair and groaned because life just wouldn't give him a break. Billows of thick black smoke and flames were alighting the sky over the camp where they'd just been held captive. The chanting from the crowed ceased. It grew nearly silent.

Then one woman held up a staff and screeched at the top of her lungs. "Attack by Otoko's!" The blanket of rage that swept over the crowd was almost tangible as the lead woman, or whatever, suddenly let out a war cry that got all the other chicks going. A good three-fourths of the group took off toward the camp as the remaining quarter were directed toward Lee, Naruto, and Gaara. They nodded, grunted some sort of salute, and Naruto's heart jumped into his mouth as they charged straight at them.

One of them, though, kind of…deviated from the others. She jumped forward, lifted her club, and managed to knock out two other women before the others noticed. When they did, a guy appeared at Naruto's side. A big guy. The remaining four women branched off into two's. One group of which took after the blonde girl that ran into the woods.

The others focused on the fat man who was untying the ropes around Naruto's wrists. "Look out!" Naruto yelled to the fat guy, but out of the shadows appeared a sharpened stick. It took one of the women in the shoulders. She cried out and went down. The last lady stopped, discombobulated, and raised her arrow to the trees, searching for the assailant.

Naruto's wrists were freed. As the guy bent down to unbind one ankle, Naruto scrambled to take care of the other. He wanted _out of there_!

"Aw, Goddamnit!"

There were women charging back. He could hear them through the trees. A few of the faster ones leapt through the bushes. Naruto was freed not a second too late. He scrambled to his feet, screaming, and started sprinting off after the big guy like a bat out of hell.

But then, with a groan, he dug his heels into the dirt and turned around to find the others. He noticed Lee had escaped from his own trap. Hands red, bubbling, and bleeding, he was struggling to untie Gaara as the women started pouring in.

Naruto tried to double back to help, but the guy from before grabbed him by the middle, lifted him off the ground, and started away from that place despite Naruto's kicking and flailing.

"What are you- We have to go back for Bushy-Brows and Gaara!"

"Shikamaru will think of some way to get them!"

"Who the hell is Shikamaru?" Naruto screamed. "Put me _down_!" Naruto pumped all of his adrenaline into one finely timed elbow to the gut. The guy grunted, dropped him, and Naruto took off at high speed back to clearing with the fire.

It was like a war zone. Women were shooting and throwing weapons into the trees and brush like their lives depended on it. Naruto looked around- he saw the two posts, the empty chair, but no Lee, no Gaara.

"_Gaara_! _Lee_-MMF!" A hand was slapped over his mouth. He was hit on the back of the neck. Next think Naruto knew, he was falling to the ground in one big useless lump.

… : … : …

Naruto moaned and snorted, rolling a little in the dirt.

...There was the sound of crickets…

…and a fire cracking.

It was dark and Naruto couldn't remember how to open his eyes. How many times in the past few days has he been knocked unconscious?

…Where was he now?

He sulked a little.

Someone hummed, and as Naruto's eyes blinked open, he could make out their blurry figure kneeling over his face. "I think he's waking up."

He was indeed. His whole body felt really fuzzy and uncomfortably far away, but he was waking up. Sort of.

"Are you an angel?"

"Hm?"

Naruto slapped his hand on its face and started rubbing it around. "You're skin is _smoooooth_."

"Mmf. What a bother. Ino, come take a look at this one."

Slowly, Naruto's vision cleared. And when it did… "W-wait. Wait! You're no angel! You're a dude!" he wasn't very happy. This was his second gay experiences in one day, and it was freaking him out.

"No kidding," Shikamaru shrugged.

Some blonde girl walked over and kneeled down, looking over his shoulder. He recognized her as the girl that diverged from the other group of savages. "What's your name?" She asked.

"What's it to you?" Naruto was immediately put on the defensive. He sat up and noticed the big guy that had stopped him from going back to help his friends sitting on a log by a small bond-fire. His anger doubled. "You! You knocked me out!"

"Hey, back off! He saved your butt!" Shouted Ino angrily. "We all did!"

Naruto ignored her and started to yell. "Where did you bring me? Where am I? What happened to Gaara and Bushy-brows?"

The blonde, the skinny guy, and the big one exchanged looks that were both cautious and pitiable. Naruto could see them having a silent conversation, or fight, because when the blonde girl glared, both boys backed down.

Shikamaru sighed. "Ah, listen, kid-"

"I'm not a kid!"

"Whatever. You're red-haired friend is kind of out of sorts right now. You can see him if you want. He's been sitting over there since we brought you guys here."

Naruto squinted in the direction Shikamaru nodded. It was still dark out, but the sun was coming up, and with what little light they had, he could just make out Gaara with his back against a tree. His mouth was moving like he was talking to someone, but the words weren't coming out, and his eyes were so wide, Naruto wondered if they might fall out of his skull. He looked crazy. Crazy-_er_.

Naruto frowned. "What happened to him?"

"We were hoping you could tell us."

There was a long pause before anyone spoke. Chouji asked, "What's his name again?"

"Gaara."

"That's scary."

"Yeah," Naruto said, almost on reflex. His brain wasn't involved. "This probably still has to do with his breaking up with Bushy-Brow."

Eyebrows went up and looks were exchanged.

"Bushy-Brow?"

"They were a couple, then." Shikamaru mused. "That explains a lot…"

"Yeah, they were a couple apparently," He laced his fingers behind his head. "I was just as surprised as you when I found out... So where _is_ ol' Bushy-Brow? He'd probably know what to do," Naruto said confidently. "Is he taking a walk somewhere? Dude was pretty messed up before. I bet he wanted to be alone, eh?"

"Uh, hey, you want to take a seat, um…?"

"Naruto! Uzumaki Naruto, to be exact." Naruto introduced himself. He plopped onto a rock.

"Yea, uh," Shikamaru scratched the back of his neck. "About your friend…Ino?"

"No way, Shikamaru!"

"…Chouji?"

Chouji bowed his head and became very interested in poking the fire with a stick. "Sorry, Shikamaru. You would be better at this than I would anyway."

"Nn, irritating, useless.." he muttered, looking exasperated. "Um, Naruto-san? Your friend. Bushy-Brows."

"Lee."

"Lee. He's sort of…not here."

Naruto's eyes became slits. "Not here…You mean-" They waited a moment for Naruto to work it out on his own.

When he did, they weren't prepared for his reaction.

"…Oh."

"That's it?" Ino asked, incredulous. "We just tell you your friend is at the mercy of those Amazonian beasts- maybe even _dead_- and all you say is, 'oh?'"

Naruto turned around and stared at Gaara, sitting ramrod straight against that tree. There was finally enough sunlight to see him clearly: and Naruto could tell that Gaara was somewhere no one else could be.

"WELL?"

"It just makes sense now, you know?" he mumbled. Naruto turned his back on her. "Damnit…"

"Don't just ignore us!"

"Ah, stop yelling in my ear, woman," Shikamaru grumbled. "Too early."

Ino made a move to throttle him, but it was curbed. Naruto growled. It gave them all pause. "Naruto-san?"

Naruto walked away. He marched purposefully with his hands clenched and his eyes focused in a firm glare on his target. As he approached, Gaara's eyes lifted. Slowly, furiously. His head did not move. Naruto did not heed the obvious threat as he reached down and hauled Gaara up by the front of his shirt. Gaara looked just pissed enough to spit in his face. "Idiot. What are you doing? Bushy-Brow saved your life and you're just sitting here? Moping?"

Across the campsite, Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji were watching in blatant surprise. "What a jerk! He's being so insensitive," said Ino quietly. "Shikamaru, do something."

"Why me?"

She nudged him in the ribs.

"He saved your life!" Naruto shoved Gaara's back to the tree.

"Get off."

"Not 'till you think about it!" Naruto only pressed harder. "He sacrificed himself for you! And you thought he was going to hate you. There's no hate there! That guy loved you more than life itself!"

"Get off!" Gaara lashed out and struck Naruto in the side of the head. Naruto grunted and dropped Gaara's shirt. He pulled his hand back from his head and found blood.

Naruto sneered. "You don't get it, do you? I can see it in your eyes that you're freaked out. But you're not the only one that's hurting here, so stop with the whole 'poor me' act! I'll beat you up!"

Gaara kicked him in the stomach and Naruto gasped for air. With a snarl he launched himself into a tackle. Gaara grabbed the top of his head and pushed his face into the dirt, redirecting his attack before it could even touch him.

"What's wrong?" Gaara sneered. "I thought you were going to _beat me up_."

"Damn it," Naruto muttered, picking himself up with shaking arms. He lifted his head, sight landing on Gaara who towered over him now.

"Shikamaru!"

"I think it's better we let them duke it out alone."

"You just don't want to do anything!"

"Damn right."

Gaara snapped, meanwhile, seeming crazed. "Lee was…He's an _idiot_…All he wanted was for me to feel at fault."

"For saving your _life_?" Naruto asked. "Look, man, if anything, _you're_ the idiot! He loved you!"

"You're just asking me to rip out your tongue."

"_He loved you_!"

"I'm getting tired of hearing your voice-"

"He love-"

"I _know_!" Gaara slammed his fist into Naruto's stomach. Naruto curled over, unable to breath as the others watched Gaara's face contort. There was panic, grief, rage, and horrified realization, among other things. Naruto reached up and seized his shoulders, half hunched over, coughing, wheezing.

"So-…" he rasped, "fucking _do_ something…bastard."


End file.
